Saturday, December 31, 2011


It's still not new year in America just about an hour to midnight. But I know it is already new year in Naija, so I can't wait to start blogging for the new year.
This year has finally come with it lovely surprises and I am sure blessings for everyone.

Now this new year I have decided to do something really different. Originally when I started this blog I didn't really know what I would be posting about. I just thought I would post my random musings but as the time went by I realized that I could do more.
I have a passion for investments, motivational stories and female empowerment. I am of the opinion that females should do more in society especially in Africa. I would spend this year researching about strong women in the world. Women who have made impacts in the world, in their communities and in their families. Women who have conquered their fears and achieved their goals, despite all the obstacles.
I will also drop tips on business. As you all know I just started my handbag line (even though its not out yet I am in the process). This year I would also take you through my handbag making journey.

Yes my random musings would be included in my post, just to spice up the blog. Don't want the blog to be too technical. It should have a little flexibility.

Now said: my goals are numerous..loll... Not so but I have vowed to be a better person. Would post at least 3 times a week. Write as often as I can no matter how little and make sure I am committed to making my life, my family and my surroundings better.

Do take care of yourselves and have a lovey day.
Once again happy new year. I am sure we would all have fun together.


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Hello everyone Christmas is finally here. MERRY CHRISTMAS y'all. Looking back, I want to say thank you for your support, your comments, your advises, your strength and just being there for me.THANK YOU.

Okay working on things I will like to accomplish in 2012.. yep I did this, in the beginning of 2011:

On my list I didn't achieve all that I set out to, but I am proud of myself and I will not give up.
I said I was going to have at least one of my books accepted by a publisher and published. Well its 5 more days to the end of this year, doesn't seem that its happening this year...Oh well moving it to 2012.....

I said I was going to learn how to make bags: this I did. Precisely September 29Th I started learning how to make bags (even though I haven't released my collection yet), I am ready to paint the town red next year...loll.

I still have a lot of goals for 2012, by the grace of God I will achieve every bit of it.

Do take care and have a lovely Christmas and a prosperous new year.

N/B: this is the last post for the year dearies. Coming back next year with better stories, stronger motivations, inspiring pictures, lots of laugh etc..


Friday, December 23, 2011


Hello guys I have been lazy that's y I haven't posted in a while... loll.
Saying welcome to my new followers. Thank you guys, you made my day.

Anyways my diet has failed: as my sister in law and her son came over and she has just been cooking up some delicious dishes. Even though I have succeeded in loosing one pound, I have learnt that when u are going on a diet, its nicer to be off people who aren't on a diet. Its easier to be motivated with people on the same page.

Anyways hope you'll getting ready for the christmas celebration...
I have decided to wear a green top and a white jeans.. I am also thinking of adding some red shoes to the outfit. Trying the color blocking stuff. I hope I don't look like a clown. Will check it out before I leave the house..loll.

Anyways take care of yourself and merry christmas you'll.


Tuesday, December 13, 2011


Hello dears. Whats up?
Okay like my last post said I was going to go on a diet.
Anyways I have started my diet.
Yesterday in the morning I took Special K with low fat milk for breakfast.
For lunch I got pottage beans cooked with a teaspoon of palm oil. You could have seen the way I looked at the food. It looked disgusting. I had to close my eyes to eat it up, even though it was very nice.
No fizzy drinks water all the way, and I hate water with a passion, but it is good for the body..sighs.
In between snacks was my greatest problem. When I had the cravings I had to either take watermelon, tangerine or oranges: no chocolates, no fizzy drinks, no bread etc..very hard I must confess. I am not a fruit person at all, even though the watermelon was to die for.

I must say its just my first day and I am lamenting.
I hope I will be able to do this for a week or two weeks.
Anyways from my little experience loosing weight ins't easy at all. Thumbs up to my friends who are on a diet.
Also I don't know why all the good food aren't on the top of the food menu.Why???

Anyways in my research I stumbled upon this guy who is a fitness expert. In his quest to find out how easy or hard it is to loose weight he decided to add weight. He took 6 months to add weight. From his pictures, I must say this: it is so easy to put on weight. Its like the thing just creeps in... Check out this website and let me know what you think.
do take care and have a lovely day.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


Hello everyone..
Whats up?
Loved the comments and encouragements I got from my last post. Thank you guys you always make my day.
To my new followers WELCOME guys. I promise will love the secretlilies's journey.
Anyways today I thought I should share this with you' ll.
I have been talking a lot about weight gain and weight lose and all.
I used to be 55kg for a very long time. When I mean long time I mean pretty long.
I will drink 5 bottles of coca cola a day and I still didn't add weight.
Anyways in the past 3 years I have slowly gained some extra 5 kilos. Now I am 60kg... sobbing, meaning I have moved from a British size 6 to a British size 8.
anyways I said I wanted to lose weight and they all want to crucify me. Please don't just hear me out....loll..

I have talked to a lot of people and they keep telling me that it's very difficult to loose wight and it can't work. A lot say big girls can't go down to a British size 8 etc.
Because of this I have decided to put myself on a diet and see what it takes. Don't worry I will not starve to death. I will only make sure I loose 5 kilos. So the aim going back to 55.....
I really want to experience a little bit of what people talk about "being on a diet".
I will like to find out if it is very difficult or if it is easy. I also will like to find out how long it will take me to loose just 5 kilos.

I start a diet on Monday and I will follow the diet judiciously by the grace of God.
As I post I will update you guys on my journey and if I can actually stick to the diet or be tempted to eating all the good food in the house. LOL

Another thing: I swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth.
So the day I, maybe make a mistake I will let you all know.

Anyways do have a lovely day and enjoy the weekend.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Difficult.. Is it Really?

Hi every one
What's up?
I have been thinking of what to post for the past two days now and I have come up blank.
I am usually one that has something to talk about but it doesn't seem to be coming today.

Anyways I will just start with my thoughts and my feelings:
Anybody that knows me, knows that I am an avid reader: "especially the romance genre". I love reading. I can stay up all night reading a good novel.
One of my favorite authors is Debbie Macomber. I have read a lot of her novels and she is really a very good writer. The catch is that she has been/ is currently #1 NEW YORK TIMES & USA TODAY BESTSELLING AUTHOR.
I have been made to understand that before you get that kind of rating your books must have sold over 1 million copies: that's on a particular book. Now this lady has several of her books that have sold over a million copies. She is making a huge living from writing contrary to what people think. She has even had a lot of her books made into HALLMARK MOVIES...

I am so happy but sad at the same time.
Why is it that African writers almost do not get to the height of their writing careers?
Let me take Nigeria for example: how many of the publishers in Nigeria have actually come out to say that an author's book has sold over 1 million copies world wide?
Is it that we don't that have bestselling materials? No we do I am very sure of that.
I know we have Wole Soyinka and Chinue Achebe etc but we need more. We have a lot more. too numerous to mention....
Is it that they aren't given the same opportunity like their foreign counter parts? One can say so?
So what are our publishers doing to change this situation?

When I think of things like this I am very impressed with MYNE WHITMAN, Abimbola ESSIEN Nelson AND Lara Daniels. I must say I admire their spirit. They have impressed me and given me hope that a time will come where Nigerian writers will be bestselling authors all over the world.

Anyways don't forget that this is just my thoughts. Please let me know yours.

Have a lovely day and do take care of yourselves.. Hopefully I will have something new to post tomorrow..loll..
Thanks again for your comments.


Sunday, December 4, 2011


Hi everyone.
I hope you are all okay, well rested and ready for the week.
For me I am and happy for various reasons.
Before I forget: " A big shout out to my new followers thank you so much for making secret lilies your home, and for the comments I love them.
Thank you.

I have been thinking about our educational system for a while now:
Men!!!! we have a long way to go.
I joined a friend to the art institute in Atlanta, and I was shocked at what I saw. This school is a school that's focused more on hands-on than book work/ reading. They do the general courses which is mandatory for every higher institution but they focus more on practicals than theory.

It got me thinking a lot of my mates, friends, parents, Nigerians, do not know what they actually want to be when they grow up. We almost all go into the university studying courses to please our parents or because society.

I have always said this if I have a university I will not offer courses like law, medicine, engineering etc. I will not have the traditional school. I will have courses like cartooning, game creation, interior design, drafting, agriculture, farming, etc.. I will like my students to be able to come to school and get a degree in whatever they want to do, not what their parents want

In Nigeria we look down on polytechnics or yaba tech, etc cos they aren't the traditional universities?
Even when the state governments or organizations offer scholarships to students, they offer the traditional courses. So if I am in the Arts I can only get a scholarship to study LAW nothing creative. Science: engineering etc and Medicine...

I have a friend who loves making-people up, but she will not go to a cosmetology school because her father will not pay her fees, so she is stuck with one science course and hoping that one day she will be able to fulfill her dream..

I pray and I wish that we will all fulfill our dreams.
At that school yesterday I felt like going to enroll and start all over again, this time spending 4 years doing what I like not what my parents want or what society feels is accepted..

I wish and I hope that we will all fulfill our dreams cos this life is short.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely week ahead.

P.S. A big thank you to Atilola. She gave me some very good points for my book. I am sure I will dedicate the book to her when it is eventually finished and published.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Domestic Violence

Hello whats up?
Thank God its Friday.
Let the week just roll it in, we have lots of fun activities lined up.

Anyways a few days ago some neighbors called the cops and accused a lady of domestic violence. When the cops got to the house, they found the lady stabbing her daughter.
when the lady was asked to stop she refused so they had no choice but to gun the woman down. The sad fact about the story was that the daughter died from the stab wounds...
although they found her other child outside, who she had tossed out the window..

My question is that how can a mother be so heartless. If you tell me she spanked her child I would have said okay, that's a different story, but this isn't spanking at all, she took a knife and was stabbed her daughter repeatedly.
What got into her?
What was she thinking?
How could she do this?
In fact how did she get this way?

Such a sad story.
Like one of my friend's said on facebook: "she wishes she can just take a remote control and press the pause or stop button and all the evil news will stop coming. I feel like that too at times.

Anyways happy weekend and please make sure you go for the garage sales happening on saturday the 3rd of this month i.e. tomorrow at Bibi's cottage, Admiralty way, across from Tanalaziers, Lekki phase 1. 9.a.m-5pm. Proceeds will be used to rehabilitate rape victims etc.

Please do check the link below and tell me what you think.
Thank you and have a lovely weekend

Tuesday, November 29, 2011


Hello everyone.
Big welcome to my new followers. Thank you very much and I hope you will enjoy this experience.
Anyways today I thought I should write about this after much brain cracking and checking, if you know what I mean.

I listened to Ada as she cried and told me all that he did to her.
I couldn't imagine it.
How could Jide do this to the love of his life. Wasn't he the one that was head over heels in love with her just a few days ago.
Don't get me wrong, Jide didn't physically or mentally abuse Ada it wasn't that?
It was deeper.
Jide threw their trust away. He broke his promise.
He promised, he said he will always be faithful but he didn't keep up to his bargain.
he failed.
I can still remember when Ada will come and tell me about all the things she did with Jide. All the bad things in bed and all the lovey doveyy stuff in the day.
I swear Ada showed me every gift Jide got for her and I must say he got a lot of gifts for her cos I saw stuff from shoes to bags to cloths till my eyes got tired with envy.
I can't even relate the Jide I know to the Jide I am hearing about now..
It must be wrong.
but as I looked into Ada's eyes I knew that the stories were true.
I knew that he had hurt her, for I could see the hurt in her eyes.

Ada's story isn't fiction, but real although names used are fictional.
It brings me to this question?
Why is it that the people we hurt the most are the ones we love.
Why is that the betrayal of a spouse is very hurting and painful?
Someone says it hurts to the bones.
Is it because we allow them see the most intimate part of our lives, our hearts, our secrets, our dreams?

I wish we will just try and stop it.
I wish we will just tell the demon that prompts us to hurt people to go away.

Anyways just my thought.
Do have a lovely day and I hope you enjoy reading as I enjoy posting.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Working From Home

Hello everyone. How r u?
Today is a new day and a new week. I hope we are all happy.
Hmmm I can smell Christmas in the air. Can you?
Please do tell me what your plans are for this Christmas. For me I haven't even decided what I will do for Christmas, so I think I will not mind some advise.

Anyways back to the topic of today.
I talked to a friend recently in the states. As we were gisting she told me that the doctor put her on bed rest, cos of the baby's health. Quickly I asked her what she was going to do about work and she told me simply that she was going to be working from home....

Wow can you beat that.. working for home...

This can never happen in Nigeria.
I wonder when women "Rights" will be taken seriously in this darling country of mine.
I know someone who had to go back to work a day after she gave birth, cos if she didn't do that she was going to loose her job and she couldn't afford to do that, not with the economic meltdown.

I asked couldn't she have sued the company?
They replied: how could she? Who will listen to her or fight for her?

This is so sad.
I wish we had a package where people could choose to work from home.
I wish we had a package where women were given 6 to 9 months of maternity leave instead of 1 to 3 months..

I just wish.....

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The "H" factor

Hello everyone!!!! thank you so much for the comments about my last post.
I really appreciate every bit of it and I know a lot of it will go a long way in making my novel an interesting read.

Anyways today I decided to post about what I call the "H" factor.
When I talk about the "H" factor, I mean the fact that when people talk they can't pronounce words that start with the letter "H". For instance instead of saying "house" they pronounce it " ouse", leaving the "h", where I do not know.
As much as I hate it when they do this and sometimes chuckle a lot, I even tease Temi that his people are the ones that always have the "H" factor problem, (N/B Temi doesn't have the "H" factor THANK GOD).
The reason why they do this is cos for instance in the Yoruba language if I am not mistaken there isn't a letter "H". Its like it just vanished into thin air..LOL. So it is quiet difficult to transit from the rules in Yoruba language to the rules in the English language.

In the french language the letter "H" is silent for instance the word " Haricot", which means beans (don't forget that every word has to be spelt with an article), is pronounced "aricot". Now when the french converse in English they find it difficult pronouncing the letter "H", which isn't silent or hidden but present in the English language.

The truth:

" Yoruba language is very similar to the french language but when the Yorubas pronounce English words without the "H" etc we see this as being razz, local, bush, uneducated etc.. but when the french make the same mistake it goes this way: " oh you know English isn't their first language, its allowed...

Anyways I should stop. I hope we have learnt a little about the 2 languages...LOL

N/B: I just got my cutting mat and rotary cutter delivered. Nice!!! My sewing machine is coming soon. Slowly but surely my workshop is taking shape and I will soon start churning out different designer hand bags... hopefully.
In the mean time check out this site, I love her drive, passion and her bag designs.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Thank God/ Novel Plan

Hello guys if you have noticed I have changed my blog's out look again.. THANK GOD.
I hated the last one, for some reason I couldn't find the icon for new post, comments etc, but now I think I will just choose the simple template and live with it. The simpler the better.
Anyways back to my last post: I talked about my characters and someone said I should give more details about the novel. This is it:

okay so the novel is about a guy that has to marry or else he will be cut off from his father's will. He doesn't want to marry, but cos he wants to be in his fathers good books he has to get married, and this is like the only favor his father has ever asked of him. All the girls he rolls with generally just want his money and his knows that. He doesn't trust them enough to keep the secret that the marriage is a sham so he has to look for a reliable, trust worthy person. This is where my heroine comes in.
She is in her mid 30's very comfortable financially, gone through all the troubles about being single and not getting married at her age from her family, so she is fed up with society in general. Even though she has a tough look she still allows society get to her. She isn't pretty but she isn't ugly either, just she is plain. A little on the plump side, not skinny and doesn't have the TO DIE FOR FIGURE..Nope... I decided to leave all the skinny girls for the runway.. don't you think.
She's got big boobs, nice full ass, like the African woman, she isn't tall, just average height.
Her striking futures :" her hair". She's got very long hair". Unusual for a Nigerian.
She is the perfect candidate as she just wants to get marry and get out of her mother's house even if it's just for a year. She feels it's better to go down in history as the lady that once was married but the marriage didn't work than oh she is an old maid and has never been married.

Now in the twist I want to add a little suspense, but I have to take into consideration that the Nigerian police isn't like the FBI, OR CIA etc.. I don't know how to work that. I don't want to use the African magic juju way.....
TO add to this along the way events takes both of them to the WORLD OF LOVE.
Now can this love withstand the test of times?

This is just a summary about the book.. I have already started working on it, but just in chapter 1.
What do you think?
Do you think the heroine should be plain or very pretty and very confident?
Do you think I should swing in the Nigerian police as being very like the CIA... mind you I need to make it look real for my Nigerian readers and not unbelievable for my non Nigerian readers.
And do you think I should add the juju factor?

Will appreciate your comments and guys this time I am finally back. You will see posts by me regularly.. I am looking at every day if God permits.
Do have a lovely day and happy thanksgiving to my American followers.


Sunday, November 20, 2011

Happy Sunday

I promised myself that I was going to post almost everyday...HMMM....
Very difficult I must say. Cos right now I don't know what to talk about.
Okay I am working on my fourth novel:
Its basically a marriage of convenience story. I have always been in love with novels that have begin with arranged marriages, so I decided to write about one.
In my book I will like the lady to be plain, a little bit chubby and not a very confident person. She isn't the hero's speck it you know what I mean, but she is the practical one for the job. She will fit the profile very well.

What do you think? should the heroine be plain or pretty?

I want to add a little suspense to this work just like sandra browns books.

The problem is that It also have to deal with the fact that the nigerian police isn't like the FBI's and the CIA's so how do I write a story that is convincing and also real, to my Nigerian readers especially.
What do you think?
Should I make the nigeria police what they are not or should I look for another plot.
lASTY do you think this book will be worth your read?

And yes I just remembered in the Frankfurt airport I went to a book stand looking for books in french, to my disappointment I didn't find it.. But what struck me was that the only african author I saw was " Chike and the River", by Chinua Achebe and he is Nigerian, I was impressed.
But I think we need a lot more Nigerian and AFRICAN writers with their books translated in different languages and in almost all the bookshops in the world...

Anyways just let me know what u think about my little plot. If you want more details I will be more that happy to help.
Take care of yourself babes and have a lovely new week.

Saturday, November 19, 2011


hello guys so sorry I have neglected you all. Will try not again.
Anyways part of the reason I don't post regularly is cos of my new look on blogsville.
I am finding it hard to maneuver my way through all this.
I don't even know where the new post is located, the comments section is another problem for me.
Hmm this is so bad, but I will get around to it, I am sure I will.
Anyways just to say I am on a vacation with my darling Temi. We are going to be gone for 2 and a half months in The U.S. OF A..
Don't worry guys will gist you everything about my romantic journey so far..loll.

Anyways one of the things I love most about traveling with Temi is that he takes care of everything. When I say everything I mean everything. In fact I just sleep and know that he's got my back. from making sure I have eaten to sleeping right and just plain making sure I am having fun.
Really nice, don't you think. In fact I feel like a baby. Hmm I am in love again..Lol.
Oh well anyways I hope you all have fun this weekend and just let me know what's up with you.
Do have a lovely day and will definitely keep in touch. check this out one of my writes up, and please drop your comments.

Saturday, November 5, 2011


Hello everyone.
I had this picture taken almost two weeks ago but I had been so busy thats y it is coming up sorry.
This is what happened two wednesdays ago, cos of the rain on my way to ikeja.
I was shocked.
Thank God it is an office complex and nobody was there when the rain fell.
This shouldn't happen if we have good building inspections".
I can't even imagine what it would have been like if there were people living in this building.

Anyways just saying hi and thank you all for your comments on my bag and my wedding anniversary post..

A second bag coming soon...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

My Very Own Bag

Hi peeps
this bag project is what has stolen me from you guys but I have resolved that this will not be the case any more.
Anyways this clutch bag is my work. The design is actually my teacher's but I made this.
If you look closely you will find out that there are a lot of mistakes and I still have a long way to go but I am so proud of the bag and I go every where with it even though it doesn't go well with my outfit, I don't care. I just take it with me. Like a proud parent showcasing the good child.

Anyways like I have promised, even though I do not have the time to post everyday I will not leave blogsville this long again.

I am off to cuddle and continue my anniversary celebration.
just let me know what you think, about the bag.

Do take care and have a lovely day.

N.P: " i am saying a big thank you to Zainab of zouzoumusings for checking up on me... she was worried i hadnt posted in a long while... thank you dear i really appreciate.

Happy Anniversary To Me

Hello everyone I have been AWOL.. I am so sorry. Please accept my apologies.
Today is my wedding anniversary. I am so happy.
I can't even imagine that its been 3 years since that I walked down the aisle with the love of my life.

Meeeen!!!!! time flies when marriage is sweet I must say.
Anyways just take care of yourselves and check out my next post on my bag.

Do take care and have a lovely day.

Saturday, October 8, 2011


Hello everyone.
Its been a while I have posted and even commented on the blogs I follow. Pele.. I have just been busy I now have a 9 to 5 job.. LOL... (I mean my bag making lessons).

Its been taking a lot of my time. I leave the house very early and then I get how late. Men!!!! I don't know how women do this, saddled with kids and a husband to look after, day in day out. They sure try. I can't do this for long, I will surely collapse. I now know why I am a big campaigner of BYOB (Be your own Boss).

Anyways in a few days I will upload the picture of my first bag. Its shabby though but I am so in love with it, cos it just shows that there is no turning back.

Also, over time my ideology about bags have really changed. They are delicate and need a lot of time in other for you to get it right. This I am learning and loving it.

So how r u guys?
how has the weekend been?
For me I have been trying to sort myself out.
I had to go to the market in the rain... "Christ it was so disgusting". But what could I do. I had left Temi foodless for over a week. Need to redeem myself before I am sent back to my parents house..(loll).

Anyways do take care of yourself and have a lovely weekend.

P.S. " Saying a big welcome to my new followers. Also just to warn you that I think my blog has a new design. I have been tampering with it again. I am not sure. The thing I hate the most bout this new look is that I may not be able to see my followers again... that's so bad...
Hmm will see what can be done.

Anyways take care of yourself once again.


Monday, September 26, 2011

Determination Needed ASAP

Hi guys...
Today, like my friend just said I have grown 5 years older.
Life isn't easy at all.

Okay rewind.. pause... Why am I lamenting?

Today I really , really, started my handbag journey and I must say that it is not easy at all. Did I actually think that the construction of a handbag was so easy...I was so wrong... I must have been dreaming... Or maybe in wonderland...

It's so difficult and very detailed. You have to be able to envision, draw, construct, and be so detailed about your work of art.

Yepa!!!!!! You must have determination if not you will just run away.
Is there anything in this life that is easy... haba...

Anyways in my lamentation I remembered this song I used to sing as a little child. " with Jesus and determination I will do my best".

This is my motto from now on and I am sure I will do my best.

Right now I have hushed my month about being a bag maker, till I am perfect.. loll..

Anyways thank you Amina you are a darling and God sent.

Do have a good night's rest and remember " with Jesus and determination you can do your best".


Friday, September 23, 2011

Business Tips For The Weekend

This is the Amala and Ewedu in grandmama's plate. I have tried to get the pictures uploaded after my post but it never happens. always comes before my post. Anyways these r some of the pictures i took with my phone in the Amala joint.Sales girls. They are in charge of the Ewedu and the beef stew. They were excited I was taking pictures. Although this picture doesn't show that they are.
This one had the money. This was where you had to pay after telling them how much Amala, and meat you wanted.
This is the Amala pot. They will ask you how much and you will say maybe #80 or #100 or more. I took #80. The generator by the side is the Amala joint's own. I just couldn't believe that they had a sound proof generator. Guys this is an Amala joint I am talking about oh.


Hello everyone.. Love all your comments on my last post " My first kiss". It was so nice. Thank you. Do keep them coming and never stop.

Anyways to the topic of today: I just stumbled on a few business tips and I thought I should share it will y'all.

Yesterday as I was driving through Ikoyi I flagged down a newspaper vendor and asked for the "Complete Fashion" Mag. (Lol although he was a newspaper vendor I didn't bother to at least glance through the newspapers he had...very bad). Anyways after reading through the editor's piece I found out that the magazine will be sold for #1,000 (i.e. about $6) from the month of October.

The Genesis Delux Cinema is always full on Wednesdays because movies are #500 (i.e. about $3) all day. Some of my friends watch all the movies they want to watch on that day. They can watch a total of 3 to 4 movies a day, especially when they don't have anything to do.
A few weeks ago I went to watch CRAZY STUPID LOVE and I found out that they had increase their price to #600. Movies on wednesdays are now #600. (i.e. recommended movie... Crazy Stupid Love).

Are you getting my drift here?

In the business world especially when a new product is being launched, you have to be careful with your pricing. More often than not, the goal to make profit, isn't their main concern. Their main concern is to get the product out there, loved by the people and get a product that will be in high demand. So companies just try to break even. Breaking even means: making sure you et back at least the money you invested in the business. Then subtly, as the goods or services are being accepted by the consumers, the prices can now be adjusted. This is usually done in a way that the clients will not feel they are being ripped off, still satisfied and in love with the product or services and the companies are also satisfied with making profits.

Moral of the day: don't start any business with the main aim of making profits immediately. Do it subtly and eventually after breaking even the profits will come.

N.B. Even if "Complete Fashion Magazine" costs me an extra #300 I will still buy it cos guess what I am hooked.

Anyways let me amuse you with pictures I took of an Amala joint in Surulere. My pregnant friend took me there. (You know how pregnant women can be). I was surprised. They are really making a killing in the Amala joint. And u need to see the caliber of people that come in there. Well dressed..looking funky and enjoying their meals

Do take care of yourselves and have a lovely weekend.


Wednesday, September 21, 2011

My First Kiss

Hello everyone I hope you had a great day.
I did.
I had a meeting with some very nice people and it was very educative.
Anyways to the topic of today: My first kiss..
hmm when was it?

A little boy I love so dearly, he is going to be 4 next month, told his mum about a girl he likes in his class. His words and I quote

Little boy: " mummy I saw Bidemi today she made her hair and she was very fine.
Mother (shocked): Really how did she make her hair?
Little boy: "she tied it up. (An hour later): The little boy said: I will marry Bidemi..

My observation children nowadays are so advanced. They know a lot of things we feel they don't know. Secondly as parents we should be our children's best friend. Since the little boy is very close to his mother, he was comfortable telling her how he felt. A child who talks to his parent will tell them anything, giving them the opportunity to direct them in the right path.

Thirdly this got me thinking about my first kiss. How was it? When did I have my first kiss? Was it like I had read in all the Mills & Boons?

I must admit that my first kiss was rushed, tongue in my month, swallowing spit.. And to add to it I got into trouble that day with my parents for I got home late from my first party.... Not a good experience at all. Didn't find that funny at all, although that was my own opinion, for the boy, he was so happy. He felt like he had conquered the world.
How old was I? I was 13 years old and in S.S.1.
Wow!!! Was that late? I had friends who had had their first kiss way younger than that....

What did I do?
Cos of my experience I decided that when I wanted to kiss again, it had to be in a very romantic way not rushed or spit swallowing

Anyways that's my experience what about yours. Your first kiss.. What was your experience?

P.S. " thank you guys for your comments. It always makes my day when I see your comments. Good encouragement.

Do have a lovely day. & They both put up some new collections. Do check it out.


Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Two & A Half Men Debuts Today Without Charlie Sheen

Hello everyone...Just here again to share my thoughts.
Browsing through twitter I saw this tweet about "Two and a half men airing today finally but without its lead actor Charlie Sheen.
Why I asked myself ?
So I went on a research rampage.

Apparently Charlie Sheen had been into drugs, women, insubordination, wild parties hat affected his acting, forgetting his lines, etc. Someone even said he was full of himself.
Another person said he felt that he was king and he couldn't go wrong.

My question how can one think he is indispensable?
From experience I have found out that nobody is indispensable. If you are not there they can always find another person and a good one at that.

Another question: Why will someone throw away one of the best paying jobs in the world? In fact he had the highest paid acting job on TV. I heard that every time the show was aired he was being paid a million dollars... OMG...

Help me before I collapse. How can someone be earning that amount of money? What happened to me?
Does he have two heads or two nose or something? (Anyways this is another story for another day).

But why will he throw this away...
It's so sad.
As much as I feel he deserved what he got I still feel sorry for him cos this is a case of losing one's opportunity and you know the thing about opportunities they hardly ever come back.

I still can't get over the million dollars he used to earn. This one is what my grandmother will say: "they have sent it from his village. They do not want anything good to come his way".

Just a note to everyone.. No matter where we get to in life we should always remember that it can change in a second. Look at Charlie Sheen everyone loved his part, at least I did. Who didn't love uncle Charlie, but from today there is no more Uncle Charlie.....

God will help us not to waste Mr Opportunity when it comes our way.

Do have a good night's rest and take care of your self.


Monday, September 19, 2011

Information I thought to share

Hello guys
What's up?
For me I am fine. Happy and excited.
This is a new week of many possibilities and I can't wait to see them all.
Anyways I got this info from the Social Media Club Africa by Guy Amadi Goodnex on facebook and thought I should share it with you.

"The vast majority of the world's poor are women, 2 thirds of the worlds illiterates are females, millions of school age children not in school majority are girls and HIV/AIDS is rapidly becoming a woman's disease. In several southern African Countries more HIV patients are women. Around the world, millions of people eat two or three times a day, but a significant percent of women eat once and even deny themselves the meal just to feed the children.

Nigeria's oil industry is the mainstream of its economic activities and accounts for over 20 million U.S. dollars, (#30 billion naiara) per day yet the participation of women who are over 50% of the population is less than 3%.

"New Nations" has launched a massive program for empowerment of women called "Women in Oil". With the current bills passed by the legislations for the betterment of the Nigerian woman called the local content law which spells that Nigeria indigenously formed oil companies must have nothing less than 40% stake in oil industry so citizens can begin to have access to this money.

This "Women In Oil" agenda by "New Nation" is open for 50,000 women to partake of over 400million naira per day from oil industry by becoming a member of Women in Oil corporation"

For more information call Chimene on +2348065603224. Or check this out

What struck me were the statistics.....
Men!!! Women really are suffering in this part of the world. It just made me think about the girl in Abia state university that was raped by a gang of boys. So sad my heart cries out to her. Even more so when I read some of the comments: blaming her for being raped.
I wish women will have more rights.
I wish more women will fight against injustice.
I wish women will be united.

Do take care and have a lovely week.

P.S.: I am so sorry the last link I put up was wrong this is the real one:
Please do check it out. I am sure you will love her designs.


Sunday, September 18, 2011

My Mushin Journey

A new friend. She makes bags with something like wire. This bag is "hers" and she offers some classes if you are interested.
A lot of synthetic leather. I was spoilt for choice.
Traders busy. U can't believe how busy this place can be, and they don't sell food.
Nobody to pay to carry your load, so u carry yourself. So heavy. No sissy in this market ....Hello everyone...

I know I had said I would have a second blog, where the details of my handbag's journey will be told little by little, but I was advised by a friend, just stick with "secretlilies" and in future I can recreate my blog and accommodate all my endeavors. I think I will just stick to secretlilies since I will be so busy and not sure I will have the time to manage two blogs.
Alors "secretlilies" will be a blog for all. My musings, business secrets, motivational stories, a little about myself, and my handbag making journey. Alors just seat back, relax and enjoy the ride.

My handbag making journey began on wednesday when I went to the market, Mushin market to be precise. For those who do not know the market : Mushin Market is a market for leather wears. Everyone that works with with leather visits this market regularly or so I am told. I was to meet my mentor (who refused to take any picture), at the AP filing station in muslin, by 10.30 a.m. I took a cab for the whole day ( The cab guy was just lamenting about the lack of business because of summer and the Salah holidays. Meaning that a lot of Lagosians travel out of the country during summer.. na wa oh and we say we do not have money in this country). Sorry to digress, back to my waka.
I got to the filing station by 10.15 a.m excited and all, but I had to wait for my mentor who came an hour late..hmmmm what could I say. Anyways we got into the market by 12.

Although not organized, the market was clean. I was impressed. I had prepared for my market waka I put on a blue jeans and black polo, with my market slippers, ready to conquer the world. As we walked from stall to stall I was being given some lectures. Men!!!! this bag making e no easy at all oh. You have to have passion for it or you will just die..loll.. and I have not even started.

Anyways I loved the experience. The people hurriedly walking pass as though they had a hundred and one things to do. The traders selling. In fact Mushin is a market where they sell rubbish, but the customers create fantastic pieces from the rubbish they buy. The one thing I loved about the market: there was: "no harassment".. You know when you go to the market and they call you names, telling you how they have jeans and fine fine tops when all you want to buy are used novels. Nobody fighting to touch you or christening you with names like Nkechi, or baby, or Egovine etc.

After shopping, I had to drop my mentor off at her house. MEN!!! she lives by Ogun state border.
Well I got home safely and I loved the experience. Special thanks to Vera Akpan of OREMICRAFTS. She will be at the LE PETIT MARCHE SALE on the 25th of this month. SO if you are in Lagos please come around GET ARENA, Oniru Estate, Victoria Island, Lagos, and shop.

Check out this link
A young Nigerian handbag designer. Lovely bags too and I like her. She is very nice and down to earth.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely weekend.

Notez Bien couldn't get the pictures to come after the post.
And the pictures were taken with my phone camera not a professional camera...
Ciao once again

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

What U Ask You Receive

Hi guys.. How r u you today. I hope good.
New Secretlilies followers, thank you guys. I really appreciate it.
I am just happy this week. Everywhere I turn new babies arrive. The one that has brought tears to my eyes, is the good news about my friend, who just had a baby boy after 6 years of waiting.
Kia!!!!!! God indeed is so Good.

Now back to the topic of today. If you remember I talked about my new week's strategy, in that post I shared a little about the bag stuff. My blog will come up soon, so my journey will be read there.

After searching and searching for some help with no luck, I finally decided to learn to make bags myself. After looking around I am pleased to tell you that I have found a mentor. Someone who will take me to where the material is sourced locally. Some one who is in the business and is willing to give me advise any time I need it. Someone who I am spending the whole day with, bombarding her with questions all day, seeing her work space, how she works, the little trick she uses and I get all these for free.

The bible passage that say " ask and you shall receive. Seek you shall find. Knock and the door will be opened unto you. If you ask you will receive, if you seek you will find, and if you knock the door will be opened unto you". Is so true when u apply it.

You will be surprised the kind of favors you get from people when you just ask.

So tomorrow I literary start my journey and will not fail to let u know how my journey's been.
Alors I urge you to ask and you will receive it...(its usually nice when u have faith in yourself).


Saturday, September 10, 2011


Hello everyone and happy weekend.
To my new followers welcome and thank you so much.
I haven't posted in a while cos for once I have been out of ideas.
Anyways, I just said I had to post today, couldn't leave you guys without some juicy gists for this weekend. loll..

I will like to share a little of what I will be doing next week.

For a long while I have been interested in making shoes, bags, belts etc. I had tried learning but was disappointed.
Deciding to start with one Item first, I choose bags. The thing is that I have tried to no avail to get someone to tutor me, but it hasn't been possible. For some reason the timing hasn't been right, either when I have cleared my schedule no one is available, or when they are available the cash isn't available. You know how money somehow manages to slip through one's hands.
With all these challenges I have decided to do a few things:

first of all I will start a new blog. This blog will be about my journey through bag making. I will blog about my challenges, my bad times, good times, joys, creations and my learnings. Sometimes I may even chip in a little of what I have learnt about bag making..who knows.

Secondly I will buy myself a sewing machine... This one isn't easy as I have never used a sewing machine before in my life. I sew very well but with needle and thread.
I will also look for a market in Nigeria where I can source for accessories and materials. I do not know where, although a little research has told me Mushin or Balogun. I also need to find someone who will take me there. Someone who knows the market very well and who knows what's original and what's not, bearing in mind that I am on a budget.(Very tight one at that).
Now this is a big challenge as I haven't been able to find any one willing to take me there.

Thirdly after sorting all these out, I will start learning how to make bags in my house, by myself. Thank God for the internet at least I can get a head start with that.

Hopefully as I continue I will be able to show my collection either my the end of this year or next year. I am not in a hurry. I will take my time and do this very well, the end is what matters.

In between all these I will try to post on my blogs, take pictures, write and work with my editor at the same time. I hope I have the strength to do all these.

Anyways I know one thing I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me.
Mean while check out this bag maker's blog. Her bags are fantastic: She is gifted and the good thing is that she is self thought.

Wishing everybody a lovely weekend.
Make good use of your weekend.
Make sure you have fun..
I hope Temi and I will go out this evening..He is sleeping now..Let me give him time..

Take care.

Monday, September 5, 2011


Hello everyone I am so excited about my last post, a lot of encouraging comments. Do keep them coming, very encouraging I must say.
To my new followers: thank you very much for making my weekend. I love to see the followership pile up and what's more active followers at that. Thank you very much. You actually keep me posting.

Now back to the topic of today...
P.S. I am hoping this will bring a lot more comments, text messages and phone calls, like the sat one did...loll..

Anyways I was reading this book by BEN CARSON " GIFTED HANDS".
P.S. "For where to get it in Lagos you can check with Laterna bookshop on Oko Awo street, Victoria Island. Their books are good and affordable.

"This book is a story about BEN CARSON's life. He said he was the class dummy. Whenever they will call the test scores everybody knew he will score zero. So they teased him endlessly. What struck me was the determination his mother had. She always told him that he could do it, and he could be the best at whatever he decided to do. She never compared him to other kids, but she made him buckle up. He ended up being the best in his class. Despite all the hardship, he realized that nobody was to blame for whatever decisions he made, only him. Going through summer jobs, no money and tough times, etc today he is one of the best neurosurgeon in the world.

His story reminds me a lot about me...Mind you I am not yet the best at what I do, but I am getting there by the grace of God...

Back in the days I wanted to be a doctor. When I got into SS1 I just couldn't handle the sciences, so I switched over to the Arts. It was determined that I will make a good lawyer since I loved to read novels. After I had written JAMB i.e. (Jamb is equivalent to SAT/ TOFEL/ exams that enables you gain admission into higher institutions, in Nigeria), 3 times and it was looking like I could use the scores to gain admission into the LAW program, I had to look for other alternatives. The other alternative was FRENCH. (In fact my dad told me that i may have to go to the Polytechnic since I wanted to study french). I didn't like it, but I had no choice cos if I didn't get into school I was going to watch my younger ones get into the University before me and I knew I was going to hear for a long time the story of Esau and Jacob.... (I hope you know that story.. of how Esau sold his birthright).

I just stayed in the class hoping to change to another Uni and start another course. It didn't work out so I was stuck with french in the University of Port Harcourt.

I am ashamed to say it but I was the class dummy too. Anytime they asked me questions the whole class will laugh cos they knew there was no way I was every going to get the answer right. This went on for 2 years, and my CGPA had dropped to a 3rd class. I never failed a course but I just had D's and some C's.

When I realized this... I decided that I had to do this right.
I wasn't stupid, that I knew and I could be better. So I started studying. Every time, day,minute I struggled to speak, read, and understand french. It wasn't easy. At first it was like I was just wasting my time. But I can tell you today, that I am very good in french. Can speak, read and write it properly. I read best sellers in french: "starting one tomorrow". I can speak with a Parisian accent not a francophone accent, which always surprise everyone. I didn't graduate with a 3rd class. I had an A in my project. I am D.E.F.L & D.A.F.L. certified. (That's like one of the highest professional certified courses in the french language and not easy at all).

Today like BEN CARSON instead of my classmates teasing me, they are proud of me. They want to know what I know. (Please I hope they don't read this post.. They may get angry..loll)..

Anyways the moral of the story.. You can do anything you want to do". This and many more. Only just believe in yourself.

Do have a nice day and a lovely week.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011


Hello everyone,

I decided to be a little bit bold today and talk about SEX.

I have always wondered why it is so difficult for parents to talk about Sex with their kids.
I know I didn't get the sex talk from my parents. Were they shy? Or was it because of the society? (You know in some places its still considered an abomination to talk about it)
What would they have done if I had boldly asked them to teach me about sex.
Why is it that in our society sex is still a hush hush topic, especially amongst the religious sect.
Why is it that we behave as though it doesn't exist.
Why is it that when you talk about it you are automatically labeled a very bad girl or boy?
Why do people behave as though they don't know anything about it, when we are evidence that our parents had sex at least once?

One day On her show, Tyra Banks interviewed a few teenage girls, who where less than 14 and who had all had sex. All of them said that they would have wished that their parents had, had the sex talk with them. They said if they had had the sex education they probably wouldn't have dabbled into sex that early, or listened to their friends...Now this is America?

Can you imagine how difficult it is out here.
How many kids get the sex talk from their parents?

A girl told me that when she saw her period for the first time she didn't know what it meant. When she told her mother about it, her mother told her that now she had become a woman and that if a boy touched her she would become pregnant...

Now imagine when she realized that touching didn't make you pregnant. I am sure she would have been disappointed that her mother lied. Concluding in her mind that her friends knew better about SEX than her mother.
(Peer pressure)

Or is it a boy who just discovers that he has started having wet dreams, in the hostel, and is being teased by his bunk mates. Or has just been introduced into the deadly snarl of masturbation. Emotions running wild, confusion, enjoyment, gratification, shame and then father not there to give him the man to man talk? Imagine what he will grow up thinking.

I wonder why then do we have kids when we can't talk to them about anything?

There was this research that said almost 75% of married women do not have an orgasm. This news is a bit controversial, but it will shock you to know that a lot of women and men have never had proper sex education.

Sex or lack of it is one of the things that results in marriages crashing. Either, the man isn't getting enough or the women is just not interested, or both of them haven't taken the time to understand each other's needs..

It's sad that even when we go to meet our spiritual heads, they do not give us the real facts about sex.

I wish we will grow into a generation that can comfortably talk about sex: "the bad and the good". I wish we will be able to give our children the sex talk without shouting down their heads or lying about it to them or making them feel they will burn in hell because their hormones are very active.

I want to have sons, and I pray that when the time comes they will be able to talk to me about their first crush, their first kiss, the changes they notice in their bodies as they approach puberty and the almighty sex talk....In fact I want them to be able to tell me anything.

Please let me know if your parents ever gave you the sex talk and what stories they told cos I know a lot of our parents told us a lot of funny stories about SEX.


Monday, August 29, 2011

Women Are Better At Multitasking Than Men

Hello everyone. How are you?
I hope your weekend went well, cos mine was fantastic..
I couldn't post for some days, cos for some reason my Internet has been acting up. I can't imagine why we have to pay for not so good Internet in this country. Anyways enough of my lamenting.. Let's get down to the business of the day.

Women better at Multitasking than men.
Scientist have proven that women are better at multitasking than men.. (Sorry to my male followers...I am just saying...loll)..

If you ask me: I had known this all along, didn't need any scientific research to figure it out. From time women have been known to do more that 2, 3 things at the same time..

Have you ever imagined how a woman can wake up early, get the kids ready for school, drop them off at school, go to work, pick them up from school, go back to work to round off for the day. Come back home, late, prepare supper, breakfast and lunch for the next day. Put the kids in for bed, pray, retire to the room to a husband waiting to have fun. And then the cycle continues the next day...

Hmm this to me is serious multitasking.
K forgive me for exaggerating a little bit, but I am sure a lot of us have mothers, aunties, friends, pastor's wives, who have at one point in their lives gone through this tiresome routine, and without help.

I give it to them..
Let me toot my own horn.. I do not do all the many things listed above, but I know that when I cook, I like to cook about 3 dishes at the same time (this is for storage. Giving time to lazy about..loll), write and read at the same time. Now if you ask me this is serious multitasking on my part...loll.

Anyways do let me know if you actually multitask...
Have you ever done your make-up while driving?

AHHH me I have been guilty of that, especially in the traffic.. Now this is multitasking..

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely public holiday.. for those of us in Nigeria.

N/B: " for more info check " The TELEGRAPH" article by Richard Gary.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Today as I clicked on my twitter page I saw this tweet :

"If I can meet my beautiful wife, have 2 children and be massively successful after being burned over 85% what can you do?"...

I couldn't help it, so I had to do a little research on the man called " PAUL V HARRIS"..
He was definitely burned.
He has a scared face, undergone a lot of surgery after a horrific automobile accident, which resulted in a prolonged stay at the hospital, and he was pronounced dead 3 times, while he was at the hospital.
He has been able to create his own good luck. Not only that he has also been able to motivate people, teaching them that fear is only a limitation. He says if I can do it you can TOO. He is an international coach, who is highly sought after. He has been a speaker for 17 years...

He kinda reminds me of our very own Cobhams Asuquo.. The last time I heard him speak, he said that his blindness was his legal right to take a bowl and stand by the road demanding for money, but he didn't do it cos he wanted something better in life.. So he used his disabilities for his own good. Today he is married, sings beautifully, a good sought after music producer. Instead of wallowing in self pity, he rose up from it and overcame the odds.

If people with disabilities can be able to use their disabilities for their own good, and make an impact in society: then what excuse do I have for not following my dream and making an impact on this earth?

I will like us to think about our lives.. What is it we would like to do?
is it to be a better colleague?
a better wife/husband?
a better parent
a good friend
the best entrepreneur ever
to take care of lost children?
to love God more?etc

Whatever it is, trust me you can do it.

Quotes from Paul V Harris: " Don't let anyone tell you what your limitations are"...

Note: for me I have decided to start my 4Th novel.. I have the story line already mapped out. Along the line I will definitely ask you guys for some advise and I know it will be worth it.

Do take care and have a lovely day.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A Few Business Tips

Hi everyone.. I will stop apologizing for my bad habits..
I use to be a regular blogger, I don't know what happened to me.
I am so sorry. I Will try my best to be better.

Anyways today I will like to talk about a few business tips I learnt during my research.

One of the things that made me weary about entrepreneurship was the risk involved. Even though I had great ideas, it was difficult to execute them, especially with the pressure in our society to go to school, graduate and work in a good establishment. Matters weren't any better when I found out that almost 60% of small businesses fold up after 2 years of coming on board.

If you remember the post that had some few tips for small businesses, I talked about "overhead cost" being one of the greatest problems of small businesses. So I did a little research about businesses one can do that can eliminate overheads drastically and you will never guess... IT'S FOOD

Now hear me out... Even though I do not like cooking, I know that this business is a business one can start in one's kitchen.
One thing that is common all over the world is that everybody has a kitchen or a place where the food is prepared no matter how little.

The good thing about cooking is that your clients usually will pay you first before the job is done. If you are into "retail feeding" (Lol, laughing at my words retail feeding, but I know you understand what I mean), your customers never come in and buy food on credit.. They always pay for their food. Meaning: "Clients do not owe".

My mother's saying: "anybody who cooks for a living always has food in his/her house. Meaning that your household will not lack FOOD.

But if I may ask? Are there not a lot of eateries, mamaputs, food outlets in Nigeria, Lagos alone, has uncountable.
How do you then break into the market and make a living from cooking?

1. You have to have a target market:
who do you want to sell to? Do you want to feed the very rich, the middle class or the masses? When you have decided who your target market is, with your expenses you can now determine your pricing. Be very careful not to be to pricey and not to be to low so that you can make profits.

2. You have to have your special dish.

You should be known for something, Something very special. Some years ago there was a new fast-food called "Skippers" that opened in PORT HARCOURT, just in between two already established fast-food chains. Everybody wondered how they were going to cope with the competition. This fast-food came out with their special moin-moin recipe. The moin moin was cooked in leaves, which wasn't common at that time in Port Harcourt, giving it a different kind of taste. It had Cornbeef and fish in it. This was their special dish. Everyday people waited in line for this moin moin to come out of the kitchen.. I know my family would buy nothing less than 20 pieces, and they were relatively affordable. This brought them customers, who were introduced to their other dishes through the help of their special moin moin.

Like "Skippers" look for a special dish. It may not necessary be a dish it could be pastries, like cookies, cupcakes, etc....

I love "Chocolat Royal" cos of their walnut muffins. It has become a habit every Sunday by 7 a.m I am there with my friend picking up muffins for the morning. Very nice if you ask me.
I have a friend who makes the most fantastic cupcakes ever and she gets a lot of orders.In fact I have told her that she will get a husband through her cooking cos she cooks so well.

I know a man who sells plantain chips and he makes an average of #500,000 daily. He sells his plantain chips for #50 i.e. less than a dollar.

I am not usually a Wazobia listener but one day I happen to stumble upon the station, they were talking about a woman in Lagos who was an akara seller. It was said that she makes about #15,000 to #40,000 i.e. $100 to $300 daily from her akara sale. She has used her akara business to put her children through schools, and very expensive schools....

So what are we saying...
Are you thinking of starting your own little fast-food from you home?
The good thing is that you will always find help when it comes to cooking, either the men in the house coming in to taste your food, giving you a thumbs up or your sisters, cousins, parents etc helping around, cos they want their own share of the pie.....LOL

Above all your "over head COST", is seriously reduced..
Think about it...

It's time to go...
Do take care and have a good night's rest.

P.S." remember always follow your passion"..

Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Hi everyone..again I am sorry. It's just as though I have been so busy to write or post..
I have just sent one of my books for editing and I am hoping the editor will love it. I am also sending the second one to a friend of mine. So hopefully, keeping fingers crossed I will have a published book by the end of this year or let's say next year...

Anyways back to the topic of today..."Precious"..

How many of you have seen the movie... I just saw it yesterday and I cried.

Precious had a horrible life...
The worse part for me was having 2 children for her father..
How sad..
Her mother didn't help matters as she abused her verbally and physically.
I was grieved when at the end she was told that she was HIV+

Do you know that there are a lot of "Preciouses" in Nigeria, but what is sad is that we hide it.
We ostracize the women who have been raped...

A lady that works for me said her husband left her for his cousin..I couldn't believe it. I had to ask if he knew and she said that he knew... this is incest..
It happens here, but we turn the order way saying this only happens outside Nigeria.

I can remember a program on the radio where a girl called in and said that she had been raped by her sister's husband. Some of the people that called said that it was the little girl's fault. How can it be your fault that you where raped? They said that she seduced the man. They didn't care that this girl was just about 12 years and had been traumatized. For she couldn't imagine a man old enough to be her father raping her.

I think it is time for us to start talking..
I think it is time for women to start fighting for the Right to speak and the Right to be heard...
I think it is time we stop covering up everything and tell the truth.
Mothers should be able to be there for their daughters who had been raped.
Fathers should act as fathers and not as uncaring humans.

Do have a lovely week.

Notez Bien : Counter Kulture on the 20th of August @ the dome, Lekki Phase 1, Lagos. 2pm... Fashion, Music, Drama, Lifestyle, Food. Be there.

Lastly I will like to say welcome to our new followers. I hope you have fun.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


Hmmm Karen what a character I must say.
Now that all the hype of BIG BROTHER is over I wonder what she must be doing now.
It's so funny I can remember when BIG BROTHER started almost everybody I knew including me couldn't stand Karen. We felt she was very local, bush, razz you name it. In fact there was one episode I watched where she was told to read out a task and she couldn't even read properly. All the housemates where laughing at her.
But along the line, I don't know what happened or how it happened, she became our love.
I must give it to her, she was everything I will not want in a woman.. Maybe my grandmother will be rolling in her grave at her unladylike manners, but at the end she won.

I picked up a very valid lesson and I will stick to IT:

"Despite what people thought of her, she stuck with being herself. She didn't care if the next person was going to criticize her or tell her she wasn't fit to be called a Nigerian. She was just KAREN with a large heart. You may not agree with me but I think its true. It got me thinking
Why am I always worried about what people will say?
Why should their opinion of me put me in misery?
If I am not myself then who am I deceiving? Really who?...

I remember when I went to have a haircut and I told the barber I wanted a Mo hawk I was so scared and so ashamed to walk out of the salon. My mind racing wondering what people would say about me?
Will they think I am very unruly or will they think I am not a christian or will they think I am a unserious?
All these thoughts and more ran through my mind... after taking control of my thoughts, I became in charge and said " to hell with what anybody thinks"...

You will not believe, but everybody likes my hair.
They say I have guts and courage. They say I am bold.
They say I have defied the rules and regulations of being married,
but I say I am just being me.

You no what? I have learnt that even if I have a hair cut, or I have a weave, people will still love me or hate me. I should be myself and enjoy this life for it is too short to be ruled by the misery of others.

N/B : my "to do list"
From last week monday till today: I have read 6 novels. 3 by Sandra Brown very interesting author her books are a melange of romance and suspense, and I love it.
Myne Whiteman's book " a love rekindled". I can't help loving it. I love that the twin brothers could tell each other's thoughts. I am in love with twin boys.
Still struggling with the non fiction book: the one about "social media". That is taking a lot of my patience..loll..

I wrote my article.
I didn't send in my CV cos I thought about it, and not sure that's what I want to do.
I didn't post every day on my blog cos MY Internet was acting up which gave me a big excuse to be lazy.
I have finished 1 of the baby afghan(blankets).....

New to do list asap.

I guess it's good to set task, one way or the other you kinda come around to it.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely day.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Lesson 1

Hello everyone...sorry I didn't have a post yesterday, my Internet was acting up, so I couldn't do anything. But I succeeded in keeping to my diet...hmm how me its so hard.. NO FIZZY DRINK

Anyways like I promised I will like to gist you what I learnt....

I was conducting a research and I realized that a lot of small business stand the risk of folding up after 2 years of operation. Why? I realized that even though they don't realize it, they seem to have problems with debts, managements and the almighty "FUNDS".

First of all a lot of us have huge business plans which state that we have to have 5 million naira in other to start a business.

Now I ask myself: "who is going to give you a loan of #250,000 for a start when you haven't proven that you can turn water into wine?
How do you think you will get a loan of 5 million naira? And so we sit there not doing anything just waiting for the funds which will never come.

There are a lot of things to do to avoid making mistakes or borrowing huge sums of money that one may spend the rest of one's life paying...

1. Before you start a business note this: " it's very difficult to get a loan. Even if you can, it is not advisable to rush quickly to take a loan. Look around you: "what is it you can do that can generate the money you need for the business? It has to be a skill or what you have in your head or a service you can offer. I believe everybody can do the extraordinary when they are forced to. For example if you will like to own a restaurant, and you don't have money to start, you can start by cooking in your house and just inviting friends over. I know at least you can sacrifice a few cups of rice for a tasting party. Trust me word of mouth is one of the strongest form of marketing and it can get your name out there. If your food is lovely nobody will forget, as I have learnt people like good food. I know someone who had a tasting party for her sandwiches and that's how her sandwich business kicked off. Within months she was making sales of #50,000 i.e. about $300 daily. As it occurred to you that teachers who want to be owners of schools, start out first by organizing after school lessons. This they do for years before they finally open their school. OR photographers who freelance for a long time till they are able to open their propre studio......

2. As much as possible run away from overheads, this is something you don't need when starting a business. In Nigeria were the electricity isn't that great, you have to supplement with generator, meaning fuel or diesel, meaning extra expenses. The notion that you must rent an office, or have a shop is wrong. At first you can start from anywhere, preferably your house. With the advent of social media, it's easy for one to be in one's house and conduct one's business. You can always meet your clients in their office. That a lot easier for them, as it removes the hassle of locating your office. (note for this make sure you have a credible online presence).

3. As an entrepreneur you must have a focus...only you know what your focus is. When you stay on that you will see that little by little you will get to your goal.

4. Never start a business that you are not passionate about. For instance I, Tamunoibifiri Mobolaji-Kamson decides that I want to go into catering...HOW? Why? Because I can see that all over the world food brings in the money. Now I am very sure that I will fold up in less than 2 years. For I do not have any passion in cooking whatsoever. The comedian "Basketmouth" said he started as a stand up comedian in 1995, but didn't get his first big break until 2001. He said if you do not have the passion don't do it".

I will stop here and I hope you had fun. If there is any other thing you will like to add to this list please feel free to do so. If there is anything that doesn't go well with you, just let me know. I am open to your comments and your questions.

For the record I am through with Myne Whitman's book " A LOVE REKINDLED" and I must say I loved it".

Do take care of yourself and see you tomorrow..


Monday, August 1, 2011

My List

Good morning everyone. I hope we all had a lovely weekend. Thank you for your comments on facebook and on secretlilies. I am always encouraged anytime I see them.

Today is Monday and I have a list of things I need to accomplish this week. I hope I accomplish them all.

1. I need to write 2 articles and make sure they are accepted.
2. Review my book and send it to a friend who has offered to edit it for me and pray that she finds it publishable.
3. Work on my CV and send it to a french friend, as I am looking for ways to practice my french weekly.

4. Read and finish 3 books this week. (I wonder how I will do this with all the things on my plate.... I have to read a book about social network as I will be doing my first public speaking in about a month's time).. Imagine of all the things they will want me to speak on: " social network".. What do I know about social network.
My dears quickly I had to run to look for a book, or something that will help. Anyways will gist you about it soon. Then I have Myne Whiteman's " A love Rekindled" which I will love to read this week. And the third one is BlACKBIRD" by Jude Dibia. (Hmmm.. I joined a readers club and this book was recommended.. I hope I love it).

5. I have an order for 3 baby blankets, so I have to make that. Good thing, the blankets will be delivered within a month, so no hurry. But I will still like to start now, as crocheting helps me relax.
6. Oh don't forget I need to do some cooking, which I hate...wait a minute.. I don't have to any more for Temi will not be around..yippee...Although I will miss him sha...
A little secret I have also started my diet and this got Temi scared cos he thought I was going to starve him. LOL. Anyways I actually want to stop eating from 7pm, cos I hear that it is the remedy to reduce big tummy and you will not believe it, but my stomach is too big for my size. I actually have to take my tummy in when I go out"...

7. My friend: author of Diary of a desperate Naija woman, told me that I should post regularly on my blog. She said the intervals were to long. So I have decided that I will try to say something every day, or at least every other day. I hope you don't get bored and stop commenting.

8. I have decided to learn something new every day. Don't worry I will practice what I will learn on you guys, (don't be scared they will all be positive things). So from now on I will be giving tips on a lot of things, mostly "Advise for small businesses in Nigeria" (I hope I am able to carry this cross, for it is hard..loll), a little about health, lifestyle and a little about fashion...

9. I need to make sure I read my bible and pray everyday..

10. I need to stick to my rule and wake up everyday by 7am, have my bath and go to work, even though I work from my house.

HMMMMMM my brothers and sisters, this list sef I have put together e no easy at all... God will help me.

Do take care of yourself and as always I will let you know if I was able to achieve all that I set out to do this week.