Writing has become a part of me that most at times when I feel this way, the only way I can let it out is by pouring my feelings out in any form of writing.
Today again like some days I asked God why? I felt so bad...I have been crying ever since...
My hubby always says when you think your situation is the worst you have only to look around you, you will see that there are millions of people who are in deeper shit than you are. (Please pardon my english, for I am sad and angry)..
Yes I know that there are people in worse situation than me, but will that help me. What consolation is that.
People only give you advise and tell you to have patience, hold on, your time will come, it is well blah blah blah blah...Sometimes I feel they talk like this because they don't know how it feels. Can they even trust themselves if they are in my situation? What will they do, I ask myself.
In fact today I was just snapping at everybody that came close to me. I am sure the cashier in the local store near my house must have thought me a viper for I snapped at her to be fast with my balance. Her smiling face and slow attitude got on my nerves..
Why should she smile? What was so good about the day?
I bought myself 3 sticks of ice cream and I took every thing. I am suppose to be watching my sugar intake, strictly doctors orders, but who really cares : doctors orders my foot...
I have snapped, cursed, begged and cried... but then I can choose..
I can choose to wallow in self pity or I can choose to stand up and conquer the world. For every time I read a success story, it usually comes with challenges, problems, obstacles that almost brought defeat at their door, but they still held on....
I have no where to go to, I just have to hold on.... I believe in God and I know he can do it, but men,,,, I must say that it isn't easy at all.
Some days I am happy...I wake up and I feel I can conquer the world. Some days I wake up and I am sad, weighed by all the challenges I have to face in this life.
I ask: when will this phase pass me by?
When will I see all the goods things in life...
Ahh I must confess that it isn't easy and sometimes I feel I can't do it anymore.
But I will still believe for I know that I will see the light at the end of the tunnel, some day. When it will come I do not know, but I pray that is doesn't tarry for long.
God help me and just keep me before I run mad..loll... I know that YOU will not let me and YOU ARE always going to be there for me.
What I am suppose to learn, please teach me, so that I can learn, for I can't wait for this phase to pass...