Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Simple Rule of Relationship

For the past week I have done an extensive research on the success of relationships especially in marriages and I have come to realize that really the author John Gray of " Men are from Mars Women are from Venus", really knew what he meant when he wrote that book. Man and Woman are two different species, both of them come together to build a good and solid relationship.
Why are there many broken homes in the society today? Why is it that people are no longer trusted in their relationships, Men and Women don't trust themselves. Why is it that love and romance dies away only months into the marriage. What is it that we are both doing that hinders the growth of our marriages?

In reading this book (Fascinating Womanhood), I have learnt this: "there are just two simple things women and men need for their relationships to work. listen to this " the center of a woman's happiness in marriage is to be loved, but the center of a man's is to be admired" Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin.

This struck me as very surprising. that means things we bother ourselves with are only secondary in respect to the simple rule. If men and woman both put this rule to practice, the world will be a better place, don't you think? Relationships will last longer. Healthy, beautiful, confident children will be brought into this world.

Notez bien: it doesn't take anything to be the fool sometimes, especially in marriage. Its doesn't take anything to be the first to say sorry. It doesn't take anything to just admire the other person, despite their faults. It doesn't take anything to love. You are not less of a man, or a slave if you do all of the above and abide by the simple rule that men love to be admired, women just want to be loved.

Food for thought: Make the first move in improving your relationship.
Don't forget the simple rule:
Admire your man,
Love your woman.

Take care

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hmmmm (Sighs)

I am so scared, angry, jealous, envious and I don't want her to come, but she has come.
They say I should act normal, but how can I?
How can I be normal, when I know that they are laughing at me.
How can I be normal, when I know that she has taken everything I ever owned.
How can I be normal, when I know her aim is to see be destroyed.
But she has gotten everything good that life can ever offer. What about me? The good one. The angel. Why not me instead of her? Why? (Sobbing)

I hope you can understand, why I cannot act normal around her.
How can I act like everything is normal? They say I should at least act like a politician.
They say that if I show my feelings, I will be declared a jealous person.
Do I not have the right to be jealous?
Do I not have the right to show at least, an atom of envy
Impossible things are expected from one each day. Difficult I must say, difficult.

Every time they say, don't do this, don't do that. Don't act like that, don't behave this way.
Sometimes, I just feel as though I am a little chick, fighting its way out of the shell.
hmmmmmm(sighs again) I am tired and I want this to be over.
Please help me, somebody help me, PLEASE!!!!

I am looking, hoping and waiting for my own miracle.
I am fed up of being jealous, envious and angry at every success I come across........

Human beings, all over the world, sometimes feels an atom of envy or a little jealousy towards something or someone.....This is human.....
As I read the lamentations of the person above, I realize that sometimes, I may feel like this. Sometimes I wonder why should something good happen to an evil person, and not me, the good one.

Is it right to be envious of that person, even if it's just for a second?

Notez Bien: "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better", Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have a lovely weekend.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Amazing Race

This is the era of reality shows, one new one sprouting up every day, enticing the audience or sometimes just pointless and a waste of money. One of the shows that I have fallen in love with is the Amazing Race (which can be seen on Sony Entertainment Television). This series is so dear to my heart especially the season 2 of Amazing Race Asia. The winner of the Amazing Race Asia season 2 was Adrian and Collin.

A Little Information: Amazing race Asia, is a realty show where the contestants ( 10 teams of 2 with pre-exiting relationship embark on a race around the world to win US$100,000.

Time table for season 2's Participants:
1. travelled to 4 continents.
2. visited 28 cities
3. visited 10 countries
4. Distance: 51,534 kilometers
5. travelled 32,023 miles
6. number of legs 12.

Countries Participants Visited:
Singapore, Philippines, People's Republic of China, New Zealand, Japan, South Korea, Germany, Czech Republic, Hungary, South Africa.

In 2009, Amazing Race series, was nominated for an international Emmy Award for Best Non Scripted Entertainment. The race is simple amazing. It is a race around the world.
The most interesting thing about season 2, is that Adrian one of the winners was the first hearing impaired contestant in the Amazing Race Franchise. He proved to the world that despite his hearing deficiency he can do anything. He can compete with anybody with or without deficiency.

Food For Thought: everyday we seat down and think about how badly life has treated us. We complain about the atrocities we see on the road, each day. We complain about the simple benefits we are suppose to get and yet cannot get it, because the Government isn't capable of fulfilling their promises. Regularly there is news of one natural disaster or the other. Life just seems very unfair for a lot of us.
Some of us have parents who threw us away a babies, some where born into abject poverty, Life once again has just been unfair....

Before we go on and on about all the things that aren't working in our lives, take a look at our Star for today Adrian, who was born with a hearing deficiency, but overcame it. Who didn't allow himself to wallow in self pity, but instead showed the world that He to could do it.

Notez bien: anything is possible if we just set our hearts to do it. Instead of spending time counting all the ill luck brought upon us by life, look for what will make you stand out for good.

Happy new week,

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Our Population, An Advantage

Good morning and a happy sunday to you to.....just gisting you about my experience this morning..
I went to the Palms by 10.30, to buy Shoprite's most sought after bread. Thinking that there wasn't going to be a long queue, because it was a sunday, I strolled into Shoprite at about 10.45.....Omo!!!! the queue was long, it was as though people didn't sleep. They were all waiting for this bread..... After standing for over 30 minutes to get the bread, I had to wait for another 30 minutes to be able to pay......
Yes!!!!! As frustrating as it was, waiting for so long just to pick up and pay for a loaf of bread, I was amazed.

How was it possible that Shoprite was able to attract this crowd? What goods were they selling that the other stores didn't sell? Was it their pricing? Was it their customer service? Was it just their brand? Or was it the factor of Our Population?

Nigeria is said to be have at least 150 million inhabitants. Lagos State alone accounts for about 14 million, in some areas that is the population of a whole country..... The poverty rate is high, but businesses are able to thrive very well and quiet fast despite the poverty level....

I have come to the conclusion that our large population can be a big disappointment for us or can be used to our advantage.....Take a look at China...
Today, a lot of products are being fabricated China....I can say that half of the clothes are own are made in China like the french will say fabrique en Chine.......
Leverage: they have used their population of about a billion to create an advantage for themselves....

If we seat back and think we will be able to use our population for the good of the Nation, and also the world.....
Notez Bien: don't forget the story of the akara woman...the lady that sells akara (beans cake) and makes between #15,000 to #40,000 a day ( $100 to $250 a day). In a month she makes #600,000 to #1,200,000 i.e. $3000 to $7,500).... This woman is an illiterate to the core....but like the Chinese, she has leveraged on the Nigerian population.

P.S. go make a killing in whatever you do this week. Have a great week.

Thursday, August 12, 2010


What did I do to do?
Why have you decided to single me out?
Please answer me, before I loose my mind....
What is it?
Ehhen...I am warning you....I ask you again...What is it?
I have not hurt anybody, I do not lie, I do not steal, the last time I checked I have lived a good moral life..
The question again: why me?
I do not deserve this...
Everybody is laughing at me.. I can feel it....Anytime they walk pass me, they giggle...they laugh..
What is so funny? I often want to ask them, but I can't.. I have lost it...
Why bother....

Hmmm life I ask again, what did I do to you?
I know you send Mr karma for his yearly tour around the world... I didn't ask for him to visit me....
In fact when I checked, I wasn't on the list... Simple reason I am a good person..

But, why did he come? Why did he visit me? Why...
I always thought that bad things don't happen to good people, but now I can't say...
I have been good all my life, yet I get visits very often from Mr Karma
I ask again for the hundredth time..Why me?

Notez bien: Honestly why bad things happen to good people, is a mystery, but I know this for sure. When life seems so unbearable and all hope is lost: it means that life is going to change for the better. It means that the future will be bright...Just hang in there a little longer.....

Take care of yourself and trust me, it will get better.....
Good morning and thank God its friday...

Saturday, August 7, 2010


Hello fellows and what's up? Saying welcome to our new member in the house, Anne and thank you for following secretlilies.......whoa......we appreciate....
Now I don't know where my old wall went to? I just had it up for a day or two and it has disappeared. Oh please come back...where are you? I want you back? ( sobbing....loll...)....

Its the weekend, and what is there to do? what can one do?... Today is the day we usually do everything we have piled up over the week, and after the days chore, we are just fagged out and need some rest... What? Can't any man just sleep and wake up and viola money is by the bedside...loll...
Well my dears, life isn't like that. Life doesn't work like that....In other to succeed we have to work.......

I have decided that I want to sew,,.....hmmm see me now, thinking it was so easy. Fine I went to the market which is (shoprite,, don't mind me , I am not serious abi....how can my market be shoprite) anyways I bought my material, and headed home. Determined to sew myself a table cloth, the old fashioned way... thread and needle...my God my back hurts and I haven't even started, yet. I spent 2 hours just stitching one end to the other....Phew!!!! I thought sewing was as simple as ABC?

The simple things we take for granted are not as easy as we think....magic doesn't just happen, we make the magic happen.

So let's sit back and make the magic happen this weekend...

P.S: I am not a Nollywood fan, but there are some actors or actresses I respect like Olu Jacobs, Joke Silver, Stella Damascus etc...so I am a little excited that I am having a date with Stella Damascus in Church tomorrow...Mennn!!!! I love church these days its so interesting and FUN....lol.... You remember yesterday, the talk about FUN.....I wish everybody will realize that life it too short...why not enjoy it while it lasts....
Notez Bien:

Never take anything for granted...
Take care of yourself and enjoy your weekend

Friday, August 6, 2010


What exactly is the meaning of fun?
According to my computer, fun can be defined as : enjoyment, amusement or lighthearted pleasure.
Well from this definition I can comfortable say that for the past 1 month I have had the pleasure of experiencing these : enjoyment, amusement and lighthearted pleasure...lol.
From the magnificent experience of tasting the wisdom of John C. Maxwell to the roller coster adventure ride of Michelle Mckinny Hammond the relationship specialist, I can proudly say that I have stepped into the month of August a better person, a better leader...(lol, abeg help me oh, I am blowing my trumpet....hahahaha).......

The must important thing about life is that one can have fun and learn.
I have learnt (while having fun), that it doesn't take a title to become a leader, it takes being a servant to become one.
I have learnt (While having fun) that a leader is a leader by example.
I have learnt (while creating fun) that if you cannot have a good relationship with your friends, you will not have a good relationship with your marriage.
I have learnt (while generating fun) that relationships demand a lot of things from us.... like....patience, love, tolerance and above all forgiveness......
Now you can see why I said: that I stepped into this month with every necessary tool. Omo come meet me for lessons...loll.. ..

If I practice all that I have learnt I will be a better person
Notez Bien: now I will like to tell you a little secret...I have secretly been holding a grudge against some of my friends...its like they don't remember I exit anymore....
As I drop my pen, I am going to call them to harass them...haba why haven't you called me? I am still alive oh....lol...

Life is better that way don't you think?

Take care of yourself and learn to spot the fun in every situation

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


August is here and with it comes some apprehension. The year that just started has almost ended. In a bout of uncertainty you wonder, what are your accomplishments thus far.....
Maybe something good will come, wrapped up in a present box, but
waiting is not an option? How patient can one be.
Well let's just wait and see
Or should I?
Or Shouldn't I?
Maybe I should just rebel and do what is in my heart.
But it will hurt them.
Hmmm!!!!! I cannot help it, its for my own good, not theirs.
Well I will try, I just have to.

Nobody can see it, only me.
I will just hang in there and wait....

Sometimes we are faced with a dilemma, confused about what to do....
You are not alone, I feel like that sometimes, but then I know its only for a while.
Like the song that says "I will get there, I will get there someday", I will scale through.
Despite the ups and downs, enjoy this month,
for it is going to be a month of wonderful adventures...