Thursday, December 27, 2012


I know all of us are still in a celebration mood, including me. I had actually thought that I will be off writing and blogging till next year but like bees drawn to the honey comb so is a writer drawn to writing.
Anyways one of my Christmas presents from my darling Temi was Chinua Achebe's new novel "There Was A Country". Now people who know me, know that even though I am an avid reader its only recently I started reading a lot of novels by Nigerian authors, even though I read "CHIKE AND THE RIVER, THINGS FALL APART", I still wasn't an avid reader of Achebe's works.

I don't know if I can say this of a renowned author, but I will anyway: as a writer Achebe has greatly improved. This is how I see his writing now: it's as though he writes for a wider audience. It's as though he writes for the readers in China as well as readers in America at the same time. He can take an Ibo proverb and describe it using America/British terms. I am greatly impressed as I hope that this novel becomes a bestseller topping a lot of the big authors in writing history. I have also learnt that Chinmamanda Adiche writes a lot like Achebe.. Very Impressive.

Although I am not through with the book I am learning a lot about Nigerian history and the events that took place before I was born. It saddens me to think that history has been removed from all our secondary schools. I think that history should be compulsory in all secondary schools in Nigeria up until A'  levels, instead of maths or English. Oh well that's a topic for another day.

I also think that all the minor ethnic groups in Nigeria should start developing works of fiction laced with our rich history and culture granting our Nigerian/African all over the world the opportunity to know about African folklore's, myths, history, culture like they do about the Greek mythology.

Before I go I will leave you with some excerpts of the book that I have found very intriguing:

Page 93:

"I received my scholarship to study medicine at Ibadan. I wanted to be in the arts but felt the pressure to choose medicine instead. After a year of work I changed to English, history and theology, but by so doing I lost the bursary and was left with the prospect of paying tuition"

(Now for me this is determination. It is sad that parents still pressure their children to study courses they don't really have a flare for. Someone asked this question on face book: if you had the opportunity to be 18 again what will you do all over, a lot of people talked about following their dreams and not studying what daddy or mummy wanted them to study).

Page 95:

"After graduation I did not have to worry about where I would go next. The system was so well organized that as we left university most of us were instantly absorbed into the civil service, academia, business or industry. We trusted-I did, anyway-the country and its rulers to provide this preparatory education and then a job to serve my nation. I was not disappointed".

(hmmm this cannot be said about the Nigeria of today as it is so difficult getting a job right out of university. What happened? And how can this be fixed? Topic for another day)

Anyways as I read along or maybe in any of my post I will try and post little excerpts from his book.
I must go now as I have to still be in the celebration mode, not with a laptop on top of my laps and jamming away.

Merry Christmas folks and a Happy new year. 

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Note From A Parent

My promise to my children as long as I live I am your parent first, your friend second. I will stalk you, flip out on you, lecture you, drive you insane, be your worst nightmare and hunt you down like a blood hound, when needed because I LOVE YOU!!!!! When you understand that I will know you are a responsible adult. You will NEVER find someone who loves, prays, cares and worries about you more than I do! If you don't hate me once in your life- I am not dong my job properly.

I saw this letter from a parent and I thought I should share it. Really food for thought for me...

RIP to the kids that died...its so pathetic....

Everybody is talking about guns laws and all, but for me I think it starts from the beginning. Once you become a parent you have to give it your all, like the note says till they understand, then you know they are adults. I don't subscribe to the African mentality of having a lot of children. its not worth it!!!!!

Anyways Merry Christmas everybody, I hope we all enjoy the holidays and thank God for just keeping us alive.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The World Of Animation

Hello everyone. How are you? I hope you are all very well.
Anyways I just had a few minutes and decided to use the time. I have always been fascinated by animations and cartoons ever since I could remember. Always watched the Disney fairy tales like Cinderella, Tangled, Aladdin, Lion King, more recently Pixar's animation: Cars, Toy Story etc.  If I am asked today what are my favorite past times: apart from reading and traveling, I would say watching cartoons or animation, that is not to say that I don't also enjoy good movies, this I do. In fact I can't wait to see "Looper" and "Les Miserables".

But have you wondered why Africa doesn't have a good animation or cartoon company, one that depicts the rich African culture and lifestyle? I know when I was growing up, I read a lot of blue eyed princesses and watched a lot of green eyed mermaid stories and the likes. It never occurred to me that there could be fairytales that had princesses with brown eyes and dark skin/ebony or kinky/nappy hair. It never occurred to me that I could have dolls that were dark skinned with yarn braids instead of the long caucasian straight hair barbies. Now I am older I know better. I know I can get novels where the heroes look like Idris Elba or the heroine looks a lot like Haley Berry instead of Jessica Simpson. (If you know what I mean). Thanks to authors like Myne Whitman, Kiru Taye, Lara Daniels etc you can now read about dashing men who are actually tall dark and handsome.

But what about the animations and cartoons that our children watch? '
Do we have enough to let them know that Africans are here to stay. That it's not all about slavery, corruption, wars, poverty etc but also about love, fun, adventures, superheroes.

What about exploring our rich legends? After all the Greeks have been doing this for ages. In fact I am so in love with Chris Hemsworth, the star in THOR. (P.S. Please don't tell Temi this...LOL). Thor is the Greek god of thunder. If I am correct I know the Yorubas also has a god of thunder in their legends.

Okay we will say there is a lot of voodoo or juju in the African theme, but can't it be portrayed without the incantations, libations and human sacrifice?

Well I think it is time Africa stands up and start telling their story.

In an interview Kiru Taye said she wants to be an author who will tell the world a different story about Africa.

Yes we still struggle with poverty, corruption, wars, slavery, discrimination, women inequality, etc but we also fall in love and live in love. We also have superheroes and heroines, we also have beautiful myths and legends, beautiful fashion sense/statement and culture. We also have men of valor and integrity.
I have hope that one day we will get there.

I hope you all have a lovely day as today is the 12/12/12/ day, and this is also my brother's birthday as well. I love him so much as we are very close. Wishing him the best things in life.

Take care of yourselves I've got to go, as my time is up.

N/B: Google: Sporedust media/ A Nigerian animation company.


Saturday, December 1, 2012

Happy New Month

I would have titled this post sites and sounds of Jamaica but I am not sure I will be able to upload the pictures. Anyways I will just try, and see what happens.

A little about Jamaica: it's very dear to my heart as it is a small island of about 3 million people, as you all know I come from a very small island, in Rivers state called Bonny. We aren't up to 3 million but its not so small. It's just the right size and very good for tourism.
Jamaica makes a lot of revenue from tourism. I wonder why we can't do that in the Niger Delta region of Nigeria, even Lagos state is surrounded by water as well. hmmm very sad.
Sometimes I wish the oil will dry up so that we all go back to life without oil. I know this for a fact :the day Nigeria starts feeding itself as a country, Nigeria's development will sky rocket. Enough of all the sad talk lets move one to brighter things...

I wonder what it will be like on top of that mountain..Scary
I hope you can see the building on the hills..wish i can live there.

Alright I was able to upload the pix. I basically took the scenery.
Jamaica is a very hilly country and living on top of the mountains is like living in Beverly hills. It is even called Beverly hills

Can you imagine that Christmas is almost here? I am speechless as to how time flies. Well we just thank God for keeping us all through the year.

I want us to look back and tick of the things we have achieved so far this year. Please don't beat yourself if you feel you haven't achieved anything. Everything will fall into place in due time.

For me I have

1. grown better in my writing, even though I haven't published any books as I thought I would have....

2. I have become a mother so that is a new job description added to my CV.  I have also learnt to appreciate the little pleasures of life: like merely sitting down to eat and savoring a perfectly good meal. I don't do that any more. I am always eating on the go, you never know when madam will be up demanding your attention with no questions asked..LOL.
3. I also have learnt to prioritize my time a lot more. I hardly waste it on just surfing the net, or gossiping I am on the go. Any little time I have I use it judiciously.
4. I still haven't started my business but I thank God for the ideas I have been writing down, cos it will become a reality soon.
5. My transition into a naturalista has become finally. I am not going back. So I have started researching and working on it. Men!!!!! I want my hair as long as the Jamaican Men's hair. You won't believe it they have longer hair than their women...Ironic right. I have started the regime of washing my hair, and conditioning bimonthly.
 Getting yarn braids soon, cos the styling of natural hair ain't easy, and I am running out of patience..

For all the other things I hope to have achieved this year and I haven't, I am not beating myself about it, cos I know I will achieve everything one day..

Enough about me, tell me what you have achieved so far. I will love to read about it.

P.S. "Myne whitman has started a new series on her blog...its very entertaining I think you should all check it out.

let me leave with this song, which i absolutely love.
Do have a wonderful weekend.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

$800 A Month

Once again I am back.
What's cooking?
Will like to wish everyone in America a Happy Thanksgiving.
I think for the fact that we are alive and breathing, we should be thankful.
Okay so I meet this guy who is a cook for a diplomat in Jamaica, and he earns $800 a month( i.e. #128000, One hundred and twenty eight thousand Naira). Now the good thing about his job is that he doesn't get to spend the money in that he doesn't pay for accommodation, he doesn't pay for feeding and his family is back home in Nigeria.
Now my question is this what will I do if I had $800 to spend, and everything like feeding, electric bills, transportation, accommodation etc, is out of the equation? Will I save the money and after 4 years use it for a business or will I just be lounging like a big boy and become the village superhero?

For me I will do this:
Its a good thing his wife is working back home, so the wife will have to support the home for a while, since this is for our future. I will try to save at least $300, send $350 to $400 to my family back home every month, and deny myself frivolities for a while. Refrain from buying new clothes or shoes or whatever toys I will love to acquire.

Now if I save that constantly for a year I will have $3,600 i.e. #576,000 Naira in a year, now multiply that by 4 years ie  $14,400 ie #2,304,000, naira.

So let's say I include A.O.B, I save $13,000 instead of $14,400 in 4 years...
Can he not use that to do something?
I know one thing of my Ibo brothers will be able to flip that money over. In a matter of years they will be serious merchants, but they will also be willing to forgo a lot of the nice things in life in the beginning.

Somebody may say this is impossible but I ask you how many workers in Nigeria today, graduates and all can after paying their bills, have $800 to just do with as they please?

The sad thing is that as humans, when our income increases we quickly increase our wants and desires, we never really think of the future until it is too late. We want everyone to know that we have arrived. we want to wear the Gucci and the Prada when we haven't saved for the rainy day...

I won't say that it is bad to spoil oneself, in fact it is healthy for the system to be spoilt once in a while, but when it is constant it becomes a problem.

Now this cook doesn't like to eat in the house, he prefers eating out, forgetting that time waits for no man, 4years will soon be over and he may have nothing to show for it.hmm already takes a lot more money than we think.

Just my thoughts?
I will not shop at a high end supermarket when i haven't set my priorities right.
I will not have a blackberry phone when I am not even sure where my next meal will come.
I will not spend my time in the cyber cafe on face booking, when I know I can only use the Internet once in a while.
I will set my priorities straight and work towards achieving my goals...
These things will always be there.

Note to self: I think the problem with us Nigerians is that we bother more about what people will say. I have learnt that people will always talk, so just forget them and continue till you achieve you goal.

I leave you with this song, its a french song its by Celine Dion and Garou. Love, love love Garou's voice.. its a love song...since I am a romantic, I hope you will feel the vibe too...

Monday, November 12, 2012

Janelle Monae

Good morning folks... hope we are all good. I for one I am happy as I celebrated my birthday two days ago..November 10th... 

Did I have a party? Nope.
Did I go out? Nope...
Did I get presents? My present from my husband is on the way. It has been ordered but it will take two weeks.. Can you imagine that?
I must say it was the most boring birthday I have ever had in my life, but you know what I loved every bit of it. Big ups to my family who even though they couldn't be with me, made sure they called to wish me a happy birthday.. Thumbs up to Temi, for my gift which will arrive in two, and making sure I heard his voice almost all through that day.. Thumbs up to Yosola who just laid there looking at me while I lamented about the boredom of that day. In all i am grateful to God for everything.

Now to the topic... usually I browse the Internet for something exciting to blog about, sometimes I am lucky sometimes I'm not. Anyways today I found this lovely musician Janelle Monae. I had never heard of her, nor her music, but I was impressed with what she had to say:

"When I started my music career, I was a maid. I used to clean houses. My mother was a proud janitor. My step father, who raised me like his own, worked at the post office and my father was a trash man. They all wore uniforms and that's why I stand here today, in my black and white, and I wear my uniform to honor them. 

This is a reminder that I have work to do. I have people to uplift. I have people to inspire. And today, I wear my uniform proudly as a cover girl. I didn't have to become perfect because I have learnt through out my journey that perfection is the enemy of greatness.

Embrace what makes you unique, even if it makes others uncomfortable". -Janelle Monae (courtesy Obvious Magazine). Interesting right?

N/B: Check out Obvious Magazine Its kinda cool....

Do listen to her song. I find it very different and unique.

Have a lovely day.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Ralph Lauren

Hi guys, I am digressing today from the motherhood journey... back to business.
I was browsing a few days ago and stumbled upon a huge donation by Ralph Lauren and I decided to look up the guy. I have always loved his brand but never read anything about him. Its a good thing I researched cos I liked what I found out about him...

Ralph Lifschitz born October 14, 1939, the youngest of 4 children, wanted to be a professional basketball player or an artist like his father. As a teenager Ralph changed his name to Lauren because he was teased in school since his last name had shit in it. In school Ralph was known for selling ties to his fellow classmates. When asked what he wanted to do in his Clinton year book he said he wanted to be a millionaire. He didn't attend fashion school, but he worked for Brook Brothers as a salesman. At age 26 Ralph designed a wide range of European-style neckties, and with a lot of determination, he eventually sold to Neiman Marcus and Bloomingdale's.

In 1971 less than five years, he opened a Polo boutique on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills making him the first American designer with a freestanding store. A hard worker the brand Polo grew into a very strong brand. Today his net worth $7.5billion dollars and he is the 122nd richest man in the world according to Forbes..

But you know everyone has his/her own obstacles to overcome, in 1986 Ralph was diagnosed with a brain tumor and underwent a surgery. His brush with death increased his determination to become bigger and stronger, and he has been able to that. Today the Polo brand is a very strong brand.

On June 11, 1997 Polo Ralph Lauren became a public company traded on the NewYork Stock Exchange under the symbol RL. By 2003, Polo has over 35 stores all over the United States.

Its amazing how someone can grow from grass to grace. what stood out for me was his ability to distinguish is style. At the time he started producing his ties, they weren't in vogue, people didn't wear ties like that, but he stuck with his designs and it paid off. Its funny even designer Calvin Klein said when he was a child in the Bronx, he would see Ralph and think, "who is this person? Who dresses like that?"

Note to self: when you have found what your hands can do, do it. Over look the obstacles on the way, at the end you will prevail.

Secondly always learn to give back to your community,  (if I didn't see the donation I may never have checked him out)

P.S. "Ralph is married and has three children. HIs daughter owns a candy store in New York.. (It is said to be one of the largest in the world). who knows I just might check it out some day.

Got to run. Do have a lovely day and thanks once again for your comments.



Wednesday, November 7, 2012

My Motherhood Journey

Hi guys..congrats to Obama for winning.
Another 4 years: let's see what going to happen. I must say the man has some good strong will and determination.

Anyways Monday of this week my daughter became 7 weeks. I can't believe she's already 7weeks old. Wasn't it yesterday I gave birth to her?
Well as she grows older her pattern changes: now she is learning how to play and how to smile.
I can see the way she struggles to smile when I make faces at her. The thing I don't like, is the gas issue all babies have. She finds it difficult to pass gas and it always hurts. I hear they will get over it soon I can't wait.
With babies they have to learn every little thing: from how to talk to how to suckle to how to walk. Another thing I have noticed: my daughter has learnt to fight sleep. She wants to stay up more, so she fights the sleep. Who says you can fight nature I hope she realizes it soon.

Anyways yesterday I let her cry for over thirty I am not being mean, I was teaching her discipline. It's never to late to discipline one's child. She now likes to be carried all the time courtesy "her grandma"... When I get back and its only me at home with her, do you think I will have the time to carry her 24/7? No and it's not a good habit at that.

Note to self: all grandparents spoil their grandchildren.

During the months of being pregnant I studied a lot about kids who grow up abroad, like in Europe or America, I am talking about America now: "their children are a lot more disciplined than ours. They have their bed times even as early as 3 months. A mother said that she taught her 3 months old baby to start sleeping by 7 p.m and wake by 7 a.m. Her son is 2 years old now and he still does that. In fact now he takes himself to bed. She says with this she can be able to do a lot of things, ETC tidy the house, cook, relax, read as she is a student, be there for her husband and prepare for the next day.

Now I have a friend who complains every time that she doesn't get enough sleep and that she is always tired. When I suggested she develops a sleep pattern for her baby she screamed that it's not possible. How will she not be tired always, when even at 2 years her baby still sleeps by 1 a.m every day and wakes up in the night for Milo....

Note to self: babies can listen to you as early as 4 months... babies no matter how little know what they are doing, and they try to manipulate you.

Explain to me how my daughter knows the difference between someone's body and her bed. She can even tell the difference between her own court and the big bed, and she is what? 7 weeks.

Anyways my breastfeeding journey: my daughter cries a lot and it bothers me. I tried everything I could think of but it didn't work, until I started adding formula into the breast milk. I will pump and mix it with formula. This she loved and will eat to her satisfaction. I just discovered that my breast milk doesn't satisfy her as she is always hungry.

My plan was to do baby friendly till about 6 months, but this doesn't seem like it will happen. I have been chastised for giving my baby formula. In fact a lot of Nigerians have told me that my daughter will not know me and will not be close to me in future because I didn't breast feed her. (You all know this theory is so wrong), even though I have put that off, it still bothered me and I continued breastfeeding and she was constantly crying.

Now I will just transition gradually to formula, before I starve Yosola to death. LOL

Do have a lovely day

Monday, November 5, 2012

Long A'waited Wedding Anniversary Post

Hello everyone as you all know my time isn't mine any more, I have a madam that dictates what I do. lol, but I can't just stop my life right, so I have to device a pattern around her.

Anyways just to let you know that I have begun writing again officially. I can't promise regular updates on my blog but I will definitely try. I will also check your blogs out whenever I have time and leave comments if I can. (do bear with me).

Now back to the story: so on the 25th of October was my wedding anniversary. 4 years ago I walked down the aisle and said "I DO" to Mobolaji Ayodeji Kamson.

Have I enjoyed the marriage: yes I have.
Has it been smooth all the way: no, nothing is actually. Everything has it's ups and downs.
When I hear other ladies talk about their marriages and how they are just there for their kids, I have to say thank God.

Do I take Temi for granted: yes I do, and I must learn to stop that, cos he is a very special person and dear to my heart.

When I first got married I wanted to have kids right away, Temi was indifferent, but I wasn't, after all I had heard stories about Yoruba's being very nosy and always in some one's business. So like every new bride I was a little frightened.

By the second year we had a major set back, Temi had to leave the 9 to 5 rat race and join the "I have to own MY OWN business band wagon", I supported him, even though in my head I felt he must be crazy. As the months past, the word we are on a budget, became our slogan. Since we were on a budget my business had to be on a hold.

So every time someone asked me what I was doing I will try to change the topic.(Okay fine I should have gotten a job right)?
I did try to get a job, but for what I was looking for I didn't find. I wanted to be a radio personality and I still want to be (so if there is any availability, please just let me know, thank you).

By the end of the second year our car had packed up and we had to depend on one car, which wasn't really good. It looked very nice on the outside but had wahala on the inside, (if you know what I mean..)But you know: "what we stood together". I still hadn't stopped worrying about the babies not coming as planned.

Anyways to cut the long story short in this 4 years, being married, Temi and I have become closer. Looking at it now, I know that if Yosola had come immediately, we wouldn't have been able to build this bond we have now.

So as the phrase goes everything works out for good.

I start another phase of my life, first of all I am a wife, I am a mother, I am a writer and then I am an entrepreneur.

My daughter taking her time in coming taught me patience, a virtue I didn't have at all.

I have to go now.
I hope you like what you read..

P.S." contrary to the story I heard, my in laws aren't nosy....

Do take care of yourself and I hope you find love like I have.

Dinner on the 25th of October.
chei I still look chubby...anyways not to worry losing weight little by little....

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Happy Birthday Temi

Hi whats up everyone? I can see everyone has been interested in my motherhood journey. Loving the comments and don't worry will continue to update you all.

Anyways today is my darling's birthday, he says I have given him the best birthday present ever that's our little girl Yosola, who by the way is 5 weeks old already. Wow I can say time flies. Let me chip this in, she is beginning to know the difference between night and day and not confuse it anymore, so I have started having to sleep for 5 hours straight in the night.... That is pure heaven.

Back to Temi's birthday. I will like to say that he has been there for me. He really has been my knight in shinning armour. You know all these stories about the woman in Africa handling the kids alone, cos it is the their job: this doesn't apply to my family. We live in Lagos Nigeria, and we both are full africans, born and bred in Nigeria, but I must say if I have sleepless night cos of the baby, Temi also has sleepless night as well. We take turns in feeding the baby, that's why I thank the good Lord for who ever invented the breast pump, and the electric one at that. It enables any other person other than the mother to feed the baby breast milk. 

I know this during my pregnancy journey which wasn't easy for me, emotionally, as I was always worried, Temi was there all the step of the way. I remember one day when I went for my doctor's visit as usual, this day I went alone. As I got to the reception, the receptionist asked me about my husband. She wanted to know why he didn't come along with me. It was then I realized that they had all observed the fact that he came along for my prenatal visits. 

On the 25th of this month, which is in two days is our anniversary, maybe as a writer I would write a small love note I am not sure about that, but I will talk more about the love of my life..

I thank God for giving him to me and I really appreciate it.. No complains at all. This is not a lie just for the cameras it's the truth.

So once again Happy birthday Temi
Bon anniversaire mon amour.
Je T'aime de tout mon coeur.


Sunday, October 7, 2012


Hello dears thank you all for the comments will definitely post some more pix of my lovely bundle of joy.
Anyways I just had a few minutes and decided to put up this post. People ask me what is motherhood like and I tell them that I take it a day at a time. It's very hard: if I want to be sincere about it, but it is also interesting at the same time. Right now I am still at the stage of waking up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. Men!!!!! losing a lot sleep. The good thing is that I have Temi helping me, but it is still hard. We have to take turns in changing diapers and feeding Yosola.

Then the fact that I really can't just jump up and start traveling to Jericho, is another realisation for me...No!!!!! those days of having a feeling n following it without looking back-----OVER. Like Temi will say: parenthood is a full time job

I said I was going to be strictly baby friendly, but after three weeks of my daughter's arrival I am thinking this plan ain't going to be easy at all. Nobody told me about cracked nipples or the pains, that one has to endure while breastfeeding. Men!!!! I must say motherhood isn't for children. Oh well I still love the experience and I am learning everyday.

Truly motherhood isn't for the fainthearted. You have to want to be a mother before you actually become one. Looking back I thank God Yosola took her time coming. I am a lot more mature, and can handle a lot more.

I have to go now cos I hear my daughter crying, it's meal time and mama is exhausted but happy at the same time.

N/B: " next on my agenda is to think of how I am going to loose the pregnancy weight and get my tummy back to shape.. this one isn't easy at all. but will see how it goes.

Do take care and have a lovely day.

Monday, October 1, 2012

My Journey Through Motherhood

Hi DEARS, I have been kinda incommunicado and that is cos I just became a new mama. My lovely daughter was born on Monday the 17th of September, by 11.22 a.m. She weighed 7pounds, even though she came three weeks earlier.

Anyways I learnt a lot about being pregnant. From the mood swings to the absentmindedness or is it the cravings or the dreadful heartburn anytime you have to eat something. I can remember the first doctors visit it was exciting and incredible. I remember Temi and I couldn't contain our excitement. I also remember when we went for a scan and found out that it was a girl, we were very over joyed, already picking her name. Her father already planning her life: how she will take over his buisness, become an entrepreneur

Anyways when my labour and contractions started I couldn't believe it. The pain was indescribable. Really: women do try. I now look at my mother who had four kids with a different mindset. For me I don't think I can go through pregnancy four times: it ain't easy. Anyways after feeling like superwoman, (I had initially said I wasn't going to have an epidural). When the pain started I didn't need a soothsayer, to tell me to call out for the epidural. But sadly they couldn't give it to me, cos my platelets, (what is responsible for blood clot in the body was low so they). Men!!!! I did say all the prayers in my vocabulary till I could pray no more.

Then when it was finally time to push, It became another story:."I am like why didn't any body tell me about this. The first three times I pushed, I was told that I had to push harder, cos the baby's heartbeat was dropping n if by 12 I hadn't given birth they were going to do a C-section. After all the pain I was going through I couldn't afford to go for a C-section. With the nurses, my auntie, Temi's cousin and my mother encouraging me, I was able to push.

The joy of motherhood is seeing the baby n realizing that everything is okay n the baby is fine.

After birth story will come soon. I have to run away as I am trying to adjust to motherhood. Its a learning process.

P.S. "I must say Temi was really there for me. I couldn't have done it without him. Now he has taken it upon himself to spoil our daughter, I just have to be the disciplinarian in the

Do take care of yourself n have a lovely day.

Pix: My daughter when she turned 8days old. her name: Oluwafayosolami Tamunoibitomie Olive Kamson aka Yosola.
2nd pix: My lovely family: "Temi, Ibifiri aka me and Yosola Kamson.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

The Godmother Of Cocaine Gunned Down/Griselda Blanco

About a week ago, I saw this head line on yahoo page and thought it interesting. For me I had only know about godfathers and drug lords not godmother of cocaine, so I googled as I always do, for more information. Lo and behold, a woman named Griselda Blanco born on the 15th of February, 1943 in Cartagena Colombia, was known as the godmother of cocaine. Well she was gunned down, September 3, 2012 in Medellin, Colombia at age 69. She even did live long for a world with so much violence attached to it.

You will not believe that this lady had four kids, today only the last of her sons, which she named Michael Corlene in tribute to the godfather trilogy, is alive. She had these kids for her three husbands, whom she ended up assassinating. According to the DEA she was responsible for 250 murders potentially including three of her husbands. Even though she was arrested and served almost a decade in jail, they couldn't pin any murder to her, as the evidence was being tampered with. So after a decade of being in jail she was released, even though she was still running her drug cartel from her prison cell. It was said that she would kill anybody that tried to double cross her, in fact she killed for whatever reason and wasn't sympathetic about it. She was an inspiration in the drug world and was making close to $8 million every week in cash.

I will not tell a lie, when I read about Griselda a part of me was impressed or should I say amazed. I guess all the emotions ran through me. For me I thought for a woman, she really did succeed in a male infested organisation. Also I always will attribute the wild life of drugs and killings to men, but here is a woman who was called the godmother and was feared by both males and females alike.

Anyways after reading her history I was shocked that she grew so cold hearted within years of her being born into this world. Her first murder was committed when she was 10 years old in Colombia, she had an abusive mother, as well. By age 14 she had gotten into prostitution,etc.

If I could have had an interview with her I would have asked her whether it devastated her when she found out her sons were dead (drug related deaths). I would ask her, how she could kill her three husbands? Didn't she love them? The fathers of her kids, cos they doubled crossed her? and still live to be 69.

 Well I guess determination is the key to everything. But I will not do anything that will jeopardize the lives of my kids or other people.

N/B: Just thinking what it would have been like if Griselda was a female advocate, fighting for the rights of women? She would have been a formidable force.

Let me know what you think. Do take care of yourself and .have a lovely day.


Thursday, September 6, 2012

Democractic Convention

I am sure every one has heard a lot about the current Democratic convention going on. Even though I try not to get into politics, I have found myself drawn to it. I love the speeches so far, I loved Castro's speech. I loved Michelle Obama's speech, Joe Biden, President Bill Clinton etc.

One thing I have found out, is that a lot of these speakers have one thing in common, they have gone through a lot of challenges at one point in their life. I didn't know until today that Vice President Joe Biden lost his first wife and daughter in a car accident when they were going to get Christmas tree.That must have been traumatic and to think that he was able to pick his life back up, get back into the system and then fall in love again to a wonderful woman, who took care of his kids.

Castro's speech was so touching. I felt goose bumps all over my body as he talked about his grandmother's journey to America. How she came to America as an orphan, how she slaved, cleaning houses in order to make a better life for her daughter, who went to college. How she prayed everyday for her daughter to give her a grandchild and she was blest with two grandsons. How she taught herself how to read in English and in Spanish...
Wow.. I was so touched. Hearing all these stories I really don't have an excuse in life why I shouldn't succeed in whatever I am doing, don't you think?

These stories have made me realize that everybody going to the top had to go through one hurdle or the order, thats just the circle of life. Yours may be different from mine, but it is there to make us stronger and be encouragements to people.

P.S. " I have finally bought a note book and a pen and I have began writing my short story. I hope to be able to finish it soon.Ii actually want the book to be a collections of short stories. Right now I have three stories, as I write I may have one or two more stories, who knows. I hope to get this one out there and published as soon as I am through. I hope I  make it, cos I just have to come out with a book before the end of next year, if not I will stop telling anybody that I am a

P.S. (again).. I wish our politicians will be as affectionate as the American Politicans and their spouses. Imagine Michelle introducing her husband to the whole world as the love of her life"....Awwww I am such a romantic.

Anyways do take care of yourself and have a lovely day.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Marketing and Giving

Hi folks!! Hope everything is k.
Today I decided to deviate a little bit from the inequality in Nigeria and talk about business.

Watching daytime TV in America has made me realize that Americans can advertise. OMG... This even makes me remember a comment Myne whitman posted. She said that her mother complained about the same thing. Even though it can get tiring, it baffles me that big companies like Walmart, Macys, Cocacola etc, make sure they market their products. Why do they spend millions of dollars on advertisements, when they are one of the strongest brands in the world?

 I think the reason is that they don't want you to ever forget that they are there/around. They want you to know that they will always be around if they can afford it. They try not to let it get into their heads that they are to big to be pulled down. This is a very good lesson for new business owners and vice versa. No matter how big your company is never forget to always be out there. When you get to the top is it very hard to stay there, cos you have a lot of competitors.

Millions of companies and people want to get to where you are. This also goes hand in hand with talents and careers. Not because you were the best in your field last year, there is a garantie that you will remain the best next year. If you don't keep on improving yourself you will never get better, only go stale. I always say this:

Micheal Phelps says no matter the day, the time, the whether, if its a holiday etc, he makes sure that he must swim. Talk about improving oneself. 

My question: why is it that when Nigerian companies stop advertising when they presume they have become the big names in the industry? In fact they actually think that they have arrived and leave the adverts for the smaller companies. Like I am trying to remember the last time a Nigerian product was in my face.

Secondly I will like to talk about giving: " I hear that in America as kids you are taught to give. What a lot of the companies have in common is giving. A lot of them give to society, help the community etc. You hear stories of children getting scholarships to go to schools, or companies rebuilding a community that was just stuck down by fire, hurricane etc.

My question: why is it difficult for companies in Nigeria to give. Will it hurt if 5o children are given scholarships? Will it hurt if a whole community is rebuilt and maintained properly, after all the resources you get, you get it from the community. I remember how long it took, The oil company to give the bonny community 24/7 electricity. Fights between the Nigerians that only wanted to get the money into their pockets, the companies wanting to run away from it.....

Lesson learnt: " no matter how little, one should give, and one should start now. Cos its a circle. Once you give you receive.
It's time Nigerian companies start giving. Its time we forget about our government and work to make our nation better.

I hope I didn't blab today, but passed the message across.

P.S: "please this is not a means to insult any company. We all are guilty of not giving, from our governement-compaines and citizens. And I will like to use this opportunity to say thank you to the Nigerian companies who have started giving back to soceity.

N/B: there is a garage sale on the 15th of September, 2012
Venue: Bibi's cottage, Admiralty way, Lekki Phase 1,
Items for sale: Vintage items clothes, shoes, accessories, books and so much more.
Time: 10 am.
All proceeds go to Bethesda Child support Agency and other Charitable causes.

Please if you are in Lagos and free do go and buy something. Your purchase will help a child.


Wednesday, August 29, 2012


Loved all the comment I got, thanks guys you are the best . Even though it is hard I will just continue being there for my friend. Anyways I decided to talk about this topic, maybe cos it comes with alot of controversy, I am not sure

the Word:  "Divorce".

I will like your honest opinions.." what do you think about Divorce?
Should couples divorce if they can't work it out?
And if they do should they remarry, even as christians?

One of the things I do not like though, in Nigeria is this: "the men who get divorced, quickly remarry and have other childrn. While the ladies just remain single for the rest of their lives. In fact society expects them to stay that way. It is almost like a taboo for a woman to remarry, even when she becomes a widow.

I can't wait to read your comments. Thank you

P.S. " Watch Restaurant Stakeout and Restaurant Impossible. I love the show, especially Restaurant Impossible.... But the dirty kitchens can be so irritating...

Do take care and have a lovely day,N I hope you'll had a lovely weekend like I did.


Friday, August 24, 2012

Bachelor PAD

Hello everyone, whats up? Hope this week has been good to you as it has to me. Anyways been watching bachelor pad with my sister in law and its been so funny, I can't even imagine the twist. I am so praying for Chris to be voted out of the game but like someone said it's like he's got 9 lives as he tries everything possible not to get eliminated. I hope my prayers come to pass.

Another thing I have learnt about this reality show is that when there is money involved there is no trust.The fighting in the house has become more intense, leading me to think that everybody came in there, first of all for the money and then to have a lovely time.

K before I say ciao I want to say thank you to all my friends that read my blog and do not comment or aren't followers...
I just chatted with a friend on facebook, who actually reads my blog, He is Ivorien. He reads it even though he can't speak or understand english. He reads it through. he  google translation. He says its very tiring but he still manages to read my blog.
I am so touched and happy about this. Hearing stories like this encourages one to continue blogging and writing.

Question of the week: "what do you do to a friend that doesn't listen to advice, and always makes a mistake. Do you stop being that person's friend or continue talking. Cos it actually hurts when you watch the person, again and again make mistakes."

Do take care and have a lovely weekend .

Friday, August 17, 2012

Jerry Bruckheimer

Hello everyone, I was all set and ready to publish what I had posted when everything disappeared, just like that. You know when I told you that my laptop crashed, my brother in law found an abandoned laptop for my use. The only problem with this laptop is that it is old and has issues. In fact the key pads have a mind of their own. Well a beggar has no choice I am stuck with this till I get a new lappy or fix my old one.

Anyways today I decided to talk about my HERO after watching an episode of  CSI. I have always loved Jerry Bruckhiemer's work, but never taken the time to check him out. Well I did that today and I was amazed. let me fill you in:

Jerry Bruckheimer born September 21, 1945, son of a German-Jewish immigrant, born in America. Graduated with a degree in psychology from University of Arizona with an algebra minor. In 1970 he started producing films. From 2010, Bruckheimer has produced over 40 feature films and is regarded in the industry as one of the most successful film producer of all time. His production: eleventh hour, CSI Crime Scene Investigation, CSI Miami, CSI:NY, Cold Case etc.

2007 he was ranked number 39 on Forbes Celebrity 100 list As of 2011 his net worth: $850 million...

I can go on and on, about this guy but men I love his work and I love his achievements. He is in entertainment and that is my forte... From Watching Michael Phelps and the American female athletics team in the Olympics I can see determination, focus and strong will....

We all need this in our every day life... what ever we do we should just focus on the light at the end of the tunnel and not the obstacles at the beginning... As I speak this, I know I am not good at this at all, I must confess. I usually give up after the first try, but little by little I have to learn that I must continue no matter how many times I try, till I finally succeed.

I hope this all makes sense and we can put it to work. Do take care of yourselves and have a lovely day... Make sure you make a difference always.

Enjoy your weekend.

N/B: For more info on Jerry Bruckheimer: wikipedia... That's where I got my info from.


Monday, July 30, 2012

Working From Home

Okay last time I posted about being your own boss and the challenges. I learnt a lot from your comments and I have decided to put it into practice.
Today I meet a photographer who has her studio in her house. I had a little interview with her:

Me: How did you get into owning your own business?
Donna: I was laid off work and I decided why don't I go and do my own thing. I have a big house and working from home will give me time with my kids, little money for better education and have time to indulge in my fantasties, like playing lawn tennis on a Monday morning instead of slaving myself at work. I also decided to use my house, to save a lot on over-heads.
Me: How are you able to stay on track and stay focused?
Donna: I always think of what I want to accomplish when I am down. I started this to give my kids a better life, be there with them almost at all times. So this keeps me focused and I stay on track, and its also fulfilling doing something that makes you fulfilled. Remember I started off taking pictures for free, before I went professional.
Me: How do you joggle family and business?
Donna: I don't deceive myself that I am superwoman, so I do not do everything. As much as I am over protective of my kids I also teach them to be independent. I have a nanny who helps me around with the little ones, the cleaning of the house etc. This way I am not fagged out when the hubby gets home after work or when the kids want some little attention..if you know what I mean
Me: Thank you Donna really appreciate. Will look at the mark always not back down.

I hope you enjoyed my little interview, please let me know how you stay on track and stay focused.

P.S: "I have been off BB for almost a month now and I haven't died or fallen sick. Good to know I can switch the button on and off. Good to know that I can set my phone aside during work hours and concentrate.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely week ahead.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

It's Hard Being Your Own Boss

I am so grateful, all the comments I got from my last post. I can feel the support and I love it. Thank you so much I really appreciate.
Anyways I have gone on and on about being your own boss, its fulfilling, doing what you love blah blah blah. Sometimes when it comes out of my mouth is sounds as easy as ABC, but it is not. I just realized that it is very difficult to stay focused when you are your own boss especially when you work from home and you have kids. I wonder how women cope with all these? I read a lot of stories about stay at home mums who have become millionaires from doing what they like and being able to take care of their families at the same time. But that has to do with mothers who live in Europe or America. What about the mothers that live in Nigeria where the basic amenities of life are hard to come by. If you are not dealing with the no light situation you are dealing with the tiring traffic or maybe the overbearing in laws who will refuse to leave your house in peace..etc. So tell me how do they do it?
Every woman I have meet has the same story they say once the kids come, your life is out the window. Is this true?
In recent years I have had a couple of friends who had traveled abroad for their masters. Some of them went along with their children, while some of them dropped the kids with their parents. Some have their school fees paid by their husbands, some paid their school fees themselves and some where fortunate enough to earn scholarships.

Seating down with all of them, the career mothers and the entrepreneurs, I have learnt a lot of things: "

1. Children shouldn't stop your dreams, they can and will definitely slow you down but if you take it a little at a time you will be surprised what you will accomplish in time. I have a Friend who started a catering/ baking business a year after her son was born. What she told me today shocked me. She still doesn't have the fancy bakery or restaurant, she still works from home and has a second child, but the proceeds of her business was able to take care of her family, pay the school fees etc for almost a year when it was financially tight in her family. Now I asked her how did you do it with you kids and a home to run? Her reply: "I just learnt to multitask and stop wasting my time gossiping".

2. Especially if you work from home, you have to be able to stay focus. Not because you are home, you think you can wake up any time you want to. One entrepreneur told me that she makes sure that every day by 7am she is in her little office, bathed, dressed up and set for work. She avoids all the social media during work hours unless it has to do with promoting her business. So no facebooking, no twittering, no BB chats, and she doesn't even receive personal calls, until she is off work.

Men that is a lot of focus and discipline. Even when I am writing and researching I am tempted to check my Facebook account to see what it going on, or twitter or even my BB, chatting with someone or looking for someone to gossip with. This has got to stop. I need to be able to take my work seriously and work it.

3. Another mother told me that a lot of Nigerian Christians are lazy. When I asked why she said that we spend all out time praying for financially breakthroughs and never do anything about it. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that praying is bad but I know that God isn't going to drop a million dollars from heaven on your lap, cos He knows that you will mismanage it as you didn't work for it. Now God will bless the fruit of your hands if you work diligently. Read Proverbs. As I learnt a lot of business men and women study the book of Proverbs diligently.

I guess it is time to stop here. I hope you learnt a lot or even something small from this looooong post.
Do stop by Myne whitman's blog post of today, inspiring if you ask me.

Thank you.
keep stopping by as I will try my best to drop business tips as regularly as possible.


Monday, July 16, 2012

I have a Sad Face Today

Hi everyone!!! Can you remember when I told you that my laptop crashed and I was so scared I had lost all my data? I am sure you can. Well I guess I have done that. With no back up plan my hardware has crashed and I am told, to retrieve my data I will have to spend $650 that is #105,300 naira. That's the price  of a new laptop. I am not bothered about the laptop at least I can work without one for a while till I get a new one or just buy a new one if the money is available but: "my work". There are a lot of short stories I had written and decided that I was going to work on them again and put them up for some writers competition. I have three complete books even thought they haven't been professionally edited, I have completely lost the second one which is absolutely so dear to me and actually the one I want published first. I didn't email it to Temi like I always do, or to anybody, so that is it. If I want that book out I have to start writing it all over again, its about 56k words.
I really don't know what to do, I have shed a couple of tears, but oh well I will have to learn to back up my data from now on. I will give myself this week or maybe this month to settle down and start rewriting that story again. I just have to let it out. I guess maybe my plans of coming out with a book this year will not work.

This is my lamentations for today. I am sulking and crying at the same time.
Thank you guys for listening to me.
Do have a lovely day.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Random Musings again

Hmmmm I guess I should be dumped into the ocean cos of all the apologies of not blogging....I am sorry again. The main reason I haven't posted anything in a while is because my brain has been blank. Couldn't find anything to post about...
Anyways after chatting with my friend and blogger Zainab Musa It came to me.. I now know what to blog

I have just been thinking and even though this isn't new, it just re registered in my mind that life is short and its not worth it spending a lifetime doing what you don't like. Its not easy taking the stand of following your passion, especially with people feeling you are making a mistake... like for me I can't believe even after I have been married this long my mother can't wait for me to have a 9 to 5. She says she doesn't understand this being my own boss thing that I say I am doing.... hmmmm the things we have to fight against every day.
 But the bottom line is that I have to do what I love and I have to make everyone around me understand that life is all about being fulfilled.

P.S. my laptop has packed up and I have all my work in there.. I am just praying that I do not loose everything... God please help me...sobbing.
Anyways do take care dears and have a good night's rest.

Thumbs up to my friend Atilola good job with your writing and the marketing of your book. I am impressed.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Random Musings


I have been AWOL for a while, guess I just needed to sort out my emotions, but I am back again. First of all I will like to say thank you to, for giving me an award. I am so sorry that I haven't done anything about it and still not even sure what to do about it. Nevertheless I am so grateful and a big hug goes to you.

Now back to what's on my mind right now. I need a few suggestions. There is a writers competition I want to enter. I have to write short stories for this category : 8-11 0r 12-15years old. I don't really know what to write, can anyone help me? Give me some suggestions? Trying to see if I can write about a superhero but hey how will I start? My forte is romance, but how will I write about romance where is concerns kids? Will that be considered appropriate for a kid's novel? Even though by 8 years old I was reading Mills and Boons and The James Hadley Chases. Do children read that?

Will really appreciate your comments and work on it.

Secondly i will try and send some excepts of the novel I am working on and will like your feed backs. I am so shy and afraid about this one, but I just have to do... I have told a lot of people that I am a writer, but I don't think there is anything to show for IT...sighs.. I have to step up my game if you know what I mean..

Time to call it a wrap, will chat later...

P.S. I am patiently waiting for your suggestions. Thank you.


Friday, June 8, 2012

In Memory Of A Dear Friend

Hi everyone, I am sure we all heard about the plane crash on Sunday, where all the passengers died. Hmm this was a sad Sunday, one that will not be forgotten any time soon.  A darling friend was on that flight and I still can't believe that she is gone. Again...I don't even know the questions to ask or what to say.
Now what is pissing me off is the statement the Dana Air guy said...." he said that being grounded they will loose about 1billion naira in a month. Do we always think about money? He also said that people shouldn't say anything until they are sure what caused the crash. It has been reported that the plane was faulty, and even when they crashed, the rescue team was terrible.
Why do things have to get this bad before we take actions?
If I were the president, I would have arrested everybody involved pending investigations. I even heard that the Indians, i.e. the owners, have fled the country..
Why did we allow this?
Please can someone tell the Dana airline manager to shut up and not say a word...

I rest my case here, but if I say that I am happy I deceive myself. Don't think I want to fly locally any more.

God help us.

Do have a lovely day and accept my condolences for those who lost someone in the crash.

Ayoola Oluwakemi Somolu may your gentle soul rest in the bosom of the Lord. You will be greatly missed. 

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Writers Group

Good morning y'all...
I know we may not be too excited about today cos we have to go to work after a public holiday that almost came into riots.. hmm the name change of the University of Lagos (loll that's a story for another day) God please help Nigeria.

Anyways if you have been following me for a while, you will remember that I had a post about writers forums, and how they can be of great help to up coming writers especially in this part of the world. Even though I was thinking of starting one, which I couldn't. A group of people came together and started one. The first meeting was on Sunday the 27th of May, and it was fantastic. I learnt a lot.

Really there are a lot of hidden talents in this country I must say.
Wow what people wrote.. really fantastic stuff. After the session, we all went with something: "write outside the box. Cos it sometimes seems that we as African writers, almost all write one theme. (that's why one of my greatest fans is Myne Whitman. I love the genres she writes).

Another thing I love about a writers group, its ability it gives its members to task their brains. It also makes the writers more confident in their work. (Before I went there I had thought that my unfinished novel was just terrible. but after I read my work, I was amazed at the feedback I got. loll. (Constructive criticism and very on point).

Well I want to say thank you to the organizer of the writers group it has been of tremendous help. Even though I am cracking my brain right now, about the topic we were given. (sobs)...

N/B please if you have been benefitted from a writers forum, let us know. Thank you.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely wet day in Lagos.


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Discovering One's self

Hello everyone. How are you?
I hope we are all good.
Anyways just saying a big thank you to all my followers. I really appreciate the comments. They are always refreshing.
And to all my friends who just read and aren't followers thank you too.

I don't know why I haven't put this up please there is a garage sale coming up on the 9th of June in lekki, Lagos. The proceeds would be given to an NGO that specializes in rehabilitating touts and prostitutes. Please if you have anything, in good shape and can be donated, just let me know and we will be very grateful.
My phone number: 08094440178

Anyways I wanted to post about something, but just got off the phone and the conversation has triggered a different topic. Someone just sent me an application for a job with languages in foreign affairs, in Abuja. I told the person thank you but that I wasn't interested.
Okay so the person now goes on to tell me to pray that the God that has blest my husband should continue blessing him cos business is very risky, and having a 9 to 5 is very stable. I just got the feeling that the person actually had the feeling that all I did was lounge at home, as a housewife, enjoying the fruits of my husbands labour... loll (which is not bad if you ask me). But I hope you all remember that we are on a budget in my house, so I can't be lounging (that one is another story for another day)...

I now got into the details of telling the person who I am...:

"As I grow older I find myself discovering a part of myself I had hidden a long time ago, due to society..

I would rather work in a radio station, as an on line personality than work in the foreign affairs, oil companies, or embassies.
I would rather drive a yellow ferrari, Bugatti Veron, sports bike, or a truck than drive an SUV or what we Nigerians know as JEEP..loll or a Toyota.
I would rather dye my hair red, or midnight blue than black.

the list goes on an on,
but in general I have decided that I will start/and continue being myself.

I shout it out loud, I do not want to have a 9 to 5, not my intention at all and i pray to God He grants me my desires.
I want to be famous for the changes I have made positively in this world, not by being a manager in one company.
And above all I just want to be me...
Do you think I am asking for too much?

Have a nice day dearies and happy democracy day.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Old Wives Tale

Hi everyone. Hope you all preparing for the weekend.. I am cos I get to have the house all to myself, Just Temi and I (winks). I have told my younger brother to find a place to put his head for the weekend. loll...

Anyways I also want to use this opportunity to say Temi thank you for the lovely time it was priceless. wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

K back to the topic of the day.. I was on the phone with a friend of mine and we were talking about a lady who just gave birth to her baby at 7 months. Then she said the most unimaginable thing: she said: "thank God the child was born at 7 months not 8 months". So I asked why? And she said that the baby will not survive at 8 months because the entire organs get reconstructed again for the final stage which is 9 months. I laughed out loud and asked her where she had heard this. She said it was everywhere. Apparently a lot of mothers, women talk about this in Nigeria.
Okay so not trying to sound cocky or argumentative, I told her that I was going to check the Internet and see what comes out. Lo and behold what did I see:

"that this tale is categorized as "Old Wives tale". According to research the closer the baby's EDD, the higher the baby's survival. So a baby born at 8 months is sometimes considered as full term and may not need to be put in a incubator, but the child born at 7 months may be put in an incubator for a while.

My question: "why do we always believe what we hear without actually verifying the information? One would think that only illiterates have this issues but apparently educated people as well.

Note to self : I am going to verify things I hear before I repeat them, cos apparently a lot of people really aren't sure of the things they say.

N/B: Business meeting for women on the 9th of June. Venue : Cactus, Ozumba Way, Victoria Island, Lagos.
For more information please call 08094441078 or send me an email :

Have a lovely weekend.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Living With Your Husband In His Father's House/ Good or Bad

Hi everyone: thank you so much for your comments and suggestion as to what to do when one is bored. Anyways I have taken a few and I am trying to implement them. lol

Now to the topic of today, for the greater part of last night, a chat group almost ran down my battery with talks about women not being able to grow with a man any more. Almost all the men in the group were of the opinion that the woman of today just wants to get married to men who are rich, live in mansions and drive big cars... hmmmmm... Now is this true? Or are the men just being biased?

After a while the guys threw this question to the ladies... "will you live with your husband in a one room, in his father's house?"... Now this is where I draw the line. I can't live with a man in his father's house... even the Bible says " a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall become one". I believe couples need a lot of privacy, especially in the beginning of their marriage, without the interference of in laws.

The story of the lady that killed her husband, in Port Harcourt, was caused by the lady's sister in law. The sister in law (i.e. the mans sister), loved to pry into her brother's business. The last straw was when the sister moved into her brother's house and guess where she slept every night? In the couple's room. On their bed. What rubbish?
The sad part of the story is that the man couldn't see the abnormality of his sitter sleeping in the same room as himself and his wife.

I am not saying that all in laws are bad, but I know one thing every couple in Nigeria needs a space of their own, no matter how little.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely weekend.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Long time/ boredom/ PHCN's unfulfilled promises/Sighs

Hi everyone, its seems as though I have been covering my face in shame for a while now. 
Not blogged, just been there. 
If you ask me what I have been doing I don't really know. 
Anyways as I came on line now my friend ZAINAB MUSA of, pushed me to blog. She even suggested I blog about boredom... loll so I will do just that.

About two days ago boredom nearly killed me, I will not lie. There wasn't any light as PHCN, has gradually forgotten about the citizens of Nigeria. I couldn't go to the cinema to watch a movie, cos Uncle (I hope you all remember who uncle is and why his name is now uncle), has told me that we are on a budget, so I just sat at home and gave in to the boredom.

My question: "are you ever bored? If yes please can you tell what you do when boredom sets in? Cos it was tragic for me..loll..
I called about 5 of my friends asking if I could come over to their houses, you know what, everyone was busy...(sobbing). 

Now back to PHCN... I asked a question: "whether Inverter (for those of us who know it) is a substitute for electricity, in Nigeria. For me, personally I detest inverter, cos I can only use lights and fans. The more appliances one uses the quicker the battery life drains. So why should I have it.  
Well what can I say I have an inverter, even though I don't like it, I put up with its rubbish. 

Enough of my lamentations, please let me know what's up with your lives? Anything interesting? Please gist me.

Lastly I will like to say happy birthday to my uncle, Uncle Gbilama, who was like a father to me. If he was alive I would have called him and wished him a very happy and prosperous birthday, but he has gone. He is still dear to my heart and I miss him so much. 


Thursday, April 26, 2012

Random Musings

Hello what's up?
Just wanted to say that the business meeting has been canceled and it's being rescheduled. Do bear with us.
Anyways I just decided to let you know how difficult it has been for me to achieve my goals.
First of all I have been fighting laziness, I just don't know what has come over me.
Secondly the almighty PHCN will not give us electricity at all, and when they do it's early hours of the morning.
Thirdly I am so slow. It takes me almost an hour to cut out my pieces.. Oh God I hope I get faster, cos at this rate I may be able to produce one bag in one week.....Sobbing
Anyways I have been able to post on my blog and I am editing my book. So that is a little consolation, if you ask me.
Will sign off now. Do take care and have a lovely day. Please don't forget to pray for Nigeria.


Tuesday, April 24, 2012


Hello everyone.. How r u?
I hope your weekend was lovely, I had a lovely one myself, even though the electricity situation has become terrible.
Anyways a couple of my friends and I were talking about accountability. We always say there are a lot of things we need to do, for our business, family etc, but we never get to do any of these things. So we decided to be accountable to each other. I have a dear friend on my back now:
I need to produce, two wallets,
Make sure whatever money that comes into my hands, no matter how little, invest it into my little business. Cos if you wait for the millions to before you start your business, it will never come.
I also have to put up at least one blog post for this week, which I just did. loll..
Lastly I will edit at least a chapter of my book.
On Friday my phone rings, checking up on me. I hope I achieve all that I have on my plate...

Anyways do take care of yourself and have a lovely day.

p.s. Please check out lindaikeji'blog,  Thursday, April 19, 2012: "Mortein's theme song for "World malaria day". Lyrics by Cohbams and Omawumi. I must say Omawumi has such a lovely voice.

Invite: Business meeting on Saturday the 28th of April.
Venue: Ice Cream Factory, opposite Law School, Victoria Island.
Time: 2pm.
What's the purpose of the meeting: It's a platform where women in business can come together and share their worries, fears, successes, business ethics etc with fellow women. It's a platform where women can be accountable to each other. Please if interested send me a message @, and I will get back to you.


Saturday, April 21, 2012

Fantastic Friday night

Hello dears.
I had lamented about how boring my life had become... well I went to Mushin yesterday and it was the must beautiful experience I had ever had in a long time. I watched the market unfold before my eyes. It just dawned on me: every time we complain about the government not doing anything?
What have we done for ourselves, our little family, our community to make it better?... (Topic for another day)
Wow yesterday I realized that there a lot of talents in Nigeria, the sad part about it is that these talents are discovered when poverty comes to play. Why can't it be discovered when we are comfortable? ( I guess a little comfortability makes us a little bit lazy). Poverty begets creativity and talent.
So in this Mushin, there were men making shoes, working with leather(Italian, Spanish, faux, fur etc) you name it. LOL the sad part is that I saw all types of designer logo in the market, from Clarks to Manchester united, ( now this news is story for another day). But I must say that their work is fantastic. The new wave of development, money, riches, awareness is going to come from the creative mind. When there isn't any job, creativity kicks in and like the saying say: "man must chop".
I also realized that there are people in this same country of mine who make serious money legitimately. Interesting don't you think?

I leave you guys today to enjoy your weekend and make sure you have a lovely time.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


Hi every one.
How was your day? Hope good? Mine was boring.....(gist for another day).
I don't know why, but blogging has become very difficult for me: Not liking it one bit. Topics just slip through my head and I don't know what to blog about. Anyways let me just gist you a little about my boring life.

Finally, I will be going to Mushin tomorrow for a little shopping for my handbag making. I don't know what I will create or make, even though I have been working on getting my own unique designs. Will let you know my progress as I work. I have given myself a target, I hope I achieve it.

Secondly I am also working on the durability of my bags. I noticed that my big bags, which I want to sell for a small fortune (loll), isn't solid. In fact the handle comes off in less than two weeks of regular use, this is not good for business. So I have to work on it. At least a good leather bag should be around for a year without getting bad. Imagine a Louis Vitton bag getting ripped apart, after a short time, or a Channel bag?

Anyways its time to go back to bed. Will let you know how my day went tomorrow.

N/B: Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and who you want to be" author unknown.


Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Work Begins

Hello everyone.. What's happening?

For me same old story. Still trying to get on my feet but I am sure will get there soon. I just spotted someone who speaks french, I am shy to go and introduce myself, but let's see how the scene plays out. Will let you know what happened to my supposed new friend.

My greatest complain is the heat in Lagos. It is so hot I can't even begin to describe it. I don't understand how people still wear trouser or skirts suits and walk in this sun. I will throw the suit. loll. Or how mothers can wrap their babies up in layers of blankets.. Do you really want to kill that child?

For those of us who are writers please can you help me get out of re-editing my work over and over again? It's becoming frustrating, I don't know what I can do. Please I need advise...

Anyways do take care of yourself and have a lovely week.


Tuesday, April 3, 2012

SOrry, SOrry, SOrry

Hello everyone, I am so sorry I know I have been underground for a very long time. My commitments on line have suffered, a lot.. I can't begin to explain.
Anyways I have learnt one thing though its so tough to follow up on a decision when you have decided on it. It takes determination, understanding, patience and continuity... and I mean this for everything.
As the days go by I will gist you about some of the things that helped slowed me down these past couple of weeks...loll.

Anyways in my off and on reading of recent, I have read a lot stories about women who have been battered by their spouses. The stories are so disheartening that you don't even know where to begin.

My question is this:

Has wife battering become the norm or has it been going on for decades, but women have become more vocal about it?

Whatever it is I speak strongly against men beating up their spouses or girlfriends. Violence of whatever form is very terrible and should be stopped.

Secondly I will like to advocate that women in Nigeria should learn to be their sisters keepers. There are a lot of things happening in the female community that I don't know where to begin. For starters... women have started speaking up against the discrimination they have had to endure from society over the years... Sadly a lot of the oppression women receive in this part of the world are instigated by their fellow women..

Like women that have troubles with their in laws: who are the culprits: usually their mother in laws or their sister is laws..etc..

Women who are harassed about not having male children or who are childless: who are their oppressors? women..

Women who go through hell when their husbands suddenly dies: who are the culprits: women...

Hmmm I ask myself if life as a woman should be tough or a chore? Is life easier on men than women? Would WOMEN have to go through pain or constant battles before society would see them as equals? A lot of questions, very few answers...
For me I constantly stand against female oppression of whatever reason, and will try in my little way to fight against it.

Notez Bien: no offense: to my male followers: I also congratulate the men that allow their women fly and encourage female liberation. Thank you.

I have said enough for one day... definitely coming back with juicy gist, so stay tuned.

Will like to announce the beginning of a little business group started for women, a platform where they can come and share their problems as women in business in Nigeria and get the support they need. Meeting details will be made known to you as soon as possible.

Thank you and have a lovely day.


Friday, February 10, 2012

Chei I Cover My Face In Shame

Chei I really cover my head in shame, look it's been almost two weeks and I haven't put up any blog post, after all my mouthing off that this year would be a different year, I will post at least three times a week and so on and so forth. Anyways I am sorry. It's like this Nigeria has made me lazy..loll.

My editor is due back any time soon and I haven't even finished the first draft of my novel.. Chei father Lord in heaven please help me.

Anyways wanted to wish y'all a very happy weekend and the best of everything good in life.

To my new followers thank you for making me: 170 followers and counting, y'all make my day.

Anyways on Monday is valentine oh and I am broke. I have been singing it since so that they would not think that there is hope. Please advise me on something cheap. I have downloaded love songs, so will wake up early that day have a shower, put on a nice short dress and play the love music.. That's my val oh cheap and affordable... But I will not lie Sha if Temi doesn't get me even a card I will fight with him....loll

Anyways let me go, enough of gossiping, chat later.


Sunday, January 29, 2012

Joe Girard's 250 Rule

Hello everyone.. whats up?
I have been off the radar for a while.. I am so sorry.
Anyways I promised I was going to give a review on the Joe Girard's book about sales. For those of us who don't know him, he is the greatest sales man in the world: and guess what? he sold cars. Now cars isn't something people buy everyday, so how did he become the greatest sales man ever.. Here are some of his rules:

Rule 1.
according to Joe almost everybody knows at least 250 people. At first when I read IT I was saying to myself: is this guy serious, but lets face facts: If there is a wedding in Nigeria no matter how small it is we would have like about 250 people, this would include relations from both parents sides, the bride and groom's friends, colleagues at work or school etc.. that makes up the 250. The contacts on my phone are over 200. I have about 142 Blackberry contacts. So if we calculate that then I know 250 people. I haven't added my extended family, which is usually large in Africa etc. So he says that you have to treat your customers right even though half of them may be wasting your time, cos for everyone who isn't happy with you that's 250 people that would think you are rubbish.

Rule 2
make sure you have a personal relationship with your customer. For example if you know their birthdays or the birthdays or their kids, or spouse and send them a card or a little gift, with a personal note reminding them that you have a new offer for them. How do you think they old react. First of all everybody no matter how little loves a present on his/her birthday.

Rule 3
don't waste your time joining the club. meaning if you are a salesman or you are at work don't spend your time in the lounge with your colleagues listening to what their wife or husband did yesterday, how terrible the economy is or how the work environment is terrible, or facebooking or bb pinging etc. For every minute you waste listening to all that, you have lost sales. Now I have notice that when I ignore my blackberry or facebook I achieve more, than when I am interrupted by bb pings or what's on someones facebook profile.

Rule 4
If you have the passion for it, you would be able to sell anything. Joe said that when he saw a car sale as his ticket to getting groceries for his family. He had the drive to sell anything and he did that.
Have you ever noticed that a lot of the rich people in the world were once extremely poor? How did the succeed? The passion to have food on their table. Once you see your job, your business, your writing etc as your source of livelihood, you would push yourself till you have achieved your goal.

Now I think it time to go an have my dinner. Do have a lovely day and I am looking forward to your comments.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Random Musings

Hi guys whats up? Hope you are all good. Hows the week treating you'll?
The last time I posted we talked about e-book...well let me tell you this, I just got a kindle fire as a present. (E-book here I come)
Trust me: I already bought two books: "How To Sell Anything To Anybody by Joe Girard and Beyond Desire by Gwynne Forster.

The first book, I seriously need it. It was recommended by Ofili author of "How Stupidity Changed My life".
Since I say that I am an entrepreneur I need to know how to sell my products. I am very eager to read this.

The second one is a romance novel, author is african american.
When I was writing my book, I realized I got stuck with the description of my characters. I kept seeing my ladies with blues eyes, blond hair...Haba how can african ladies have blue eyes? etc.. (you don't blame me when I feed my head with foreign books for along time).
I was advised to read more books written by africans and african americans.

Now I am so excited I don't know which to start, but I think I would start with the business book. Trust me to give you all the review when I am done.

Anyways before I forget if you would like to place your orders for crocheted hand made baby blankets, rugs for babies rooms, or family rooms, please contact me and place your orders.,
Tamunoibifiri Mobolaji-Kamson (this is to find me on facebook)
and I would get back to you.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely day.

I leave you with this site, very interesting for upcoming authors I must say.


Friday, January 20, 2012

E-books What's Your Take On It?

Hi !!!!! It is Friday again the weekend begins... Is anyone has baffled as I am the way the days are just flying past. Very soon we would be talking about another Christmas...hmmm.
All your new year's resolutions how far?

Well I want to behave like the lizard and praise myself, please permit me to...
"Today is the 18Th day of no coca cola, and I have been drinking a lot of water.
Thank God.
I have considerately cut down on my junk food and I try to eat more fruits, veggies and"..
Please compliment me thank you...(broad Smile)...

Anyways to the topic of today...

I am not really a fan of e-books. I am an old fashion reader. I love the idea of cuddling under the duvet and flipping through the passages of the book, that is just me.
While I would grumble at the fact that Temi would read books or whatever on the Ipad, I have come to see the importance of e-reading...

Anyways the first e-book I read was about two weeks ago, even though I was uncomfortable in the beginning, I became glued. Who can drop a good book no one.
Now I have read about 10 e-books.
I am slowly loving the advantages of e-reading.
1. It is cheaper to buy (even though I never care about prices when I go book shopping).
2. It's not bulky. Very good cos it saves you the excess luggage wahala, when traveling (which I am praying I don't have as I go back, cos I have over 20 novels and they are not e-books...oh God).
3. This is the best for me... I get to check the words I don't know and their meanings in the dictionary right away. This helps my vocabulary, and very good for an aspiring writer. (unlike the traditional way of dropping the book, looking for the big dictionary, and searching for the words. Who has that time? Time is money...don't you think).

Even though I have a big lovely bookshelf which I have vowed to fill up before the end of this year. I think the e-book route is fast becoming a winner in the book world.

I will like to thank you to Stelzz who told me about the author that made a killing for her e-books. Her name is Amanda Hocking she is 26 years old and she is a bestselling author. She gets 70%of her book sales, and she sells around 100,000 copies per month. She sells her books for $3 and some for $.99. So you do the maths. She says she now writes full time as she can now pay the bills from her writing.
It was after her success, a traditional book publisher signed a deal with her. Her books are now going to be produced in paper back and hardcover. Her advise to authors: edit, edit, edit, edit.....
For more info about Amanda Hocking check out this link:

So now you know why I am leaning towards e-books... (wide smile).

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely weekend.

Ciao .