Thursday, July 19, 2012

It's Hard Being Your Own Boss

I am so grateful, all the comments I got from my last post. I can feel the support and I love it. Thank you so much I really appreciate.
Anyways I have gone on and on about being your own boss, its fulfilling, doing what you love blah blah blah. Sometimes when it comes out of my mouth is sounds as easy as ABC, but it is not. I just realized that it is very difficult to stay focused when you are your own boss especially when you work from home and you have kids. I wonder how women cope with all these? I read a lot of stories about stay at home mums who have become millionaires from doing what they like and being able to take care of their families at the same time. But that has to do with mothers who live in Europe or America. What about the mothers that live in Nigeria where the basic amenities of life are hard to come by. If you are not dealing with the no light situation you are dealing with the tiring traffic or maybe the overbearing in laws who will refuse to leave your house in peace..etc. So tell me how do they do it?
Every woman I have meet has the same story they say once the kids come, your life is out the window. Is this true?
In recent years I have had a couple of friends who had traveled abroad for their masters. Some of them went along with their children, while some of them dropped the kids with their parents. Some have their school fees paid by their husbands, some paid their school fees themselves and some where fortunate enough to earn scholarships.

Seating down with all of them, the career mothers and the entrepreneurs, I have learnt a lot of things: "

1. Children shouldn't stop your dreams, they can and will definitely slow you down but if you take it a little at a time you will be surprised what you will accomplish in time. I have a Friend who started a catering/ baking business a year after her son was born. What she told me today shocked me. She still doesn't have the fancy bakery or restaurant, she still works from home and has a second child, but the proceeds of her business was able to take care of her family, pay the school fees etc for almost a year when it was financially tight in her family. Now I asked her how did you do it with you kids and a home to run? Her reply: "I just learnt to multitask and stop wasting my time gossiping".

2. Especially if you work from home, you have to be able to stay focus. Not because you are home, you think you can wake up any time you want to. One entrepreneur told me that she makes sure that every day by 7am she is in her little office, bathed, dressed up and set for work. She avoids all the social media during work hours unless it has to do with promoting her business. So no facebooking, no twittering, no BB chats, and she doesn't even receive personal calls, until she is off work.

Men that is a lot of focus and discipline. Even when I am writing and researching I am tempted to check my Facebook account to see what it going on, or twitter or even my BB, chatting with someone or looking for someone to gossip with. This has got to stop. I need to be able to take my work seriously and work it.

3. Another mother told me that a lot of Nigerian Christians are lazy. When I asked why she said that we spend all out time praying for financially breakthroughs and never do anything about it. Don't get me wrong I am not saying that praying is bad but I know that God isn't going to drop a million dollars from heaven on your lap, cos He knows that you will mismanage it as you didn't work for it. Now God will bless the fruit of your hands if you work diligently. Read Proverbs. As I learnt a lot of business men and women study the book of Proverbs diligently.

I guess it is time to stop here. I hope you learnt a lot or even something small from this looooong post.
Do stop by Myne whitman's blog post of today, inspiring if you ask me.

Thank you.
keep stopping by as I will try my best to drop business tips as regularly as possible.



  1. Harder still when you are still holding on to a day job and at the same time trying to be your own boss. And yes, it is true that when the kids arrive, your entire life as it were flies right out of the window...

    Good one Ibifiri. Myne's post of yesterday also gave me a lot to chew on.

    To every career mum cum entrepreneur out there, I say you are SUPERWOMEN. Keep on keeping on.


  2. Yes yes, I learnt from this. Discipline is the key thing when you are self-employed, cos there is no one to push you around.

  3. Honestly, I think it's harder to be your own boss in foreign lands like the US and the Uk than it is in Nigeria.

    Because through it all in Nigeria you are surrounded by your family and friends and you have help (or housegirl)

    But in America, it's literally just you yourself and you... nobody else.

    So when mothers in Nigeria have Bisi to hold the children whilst they quickly type this up, even though NEPA takes light at least they charged the laptop the night before and they can quickly publish updates before battery die.... mothers in Yankee have Oliver, Funmi and Mofe running left right and center screaming at the top of their voices in that annoying yankee manner. As she's typing, she is feeding, changing diapers, cleaning and yelling all at the same time. We get no Bisi!

    1. lol putting it this way dearie i see your point. Hmm so in all either in america or europe or nigeria it is difficult being your own boss with kids.

  4. Hi :) I loved this post so much because I can relate to it. I live in Nigeria, have two young children and work from home. I haven't had a help for almost a year too so that's a lot of juggling to do on a daily basis.
    I completely agree with the point you raised about staying focused. In my experience, BB chats are a major distraction. Whenever I put my phone away and work like I'm in a 9-5 job, I find that I achieve more.
    Thanks for reminding me that I should do that more often now.

  5. Kids are definitely game-changers and i can totally relate to the post. My day job is as a banker and in my spare time, i'm an entreprenuer ( I always thought quitting banking and concentrating on my entreprenuerial leanings will be a breeze. Thankfully, this post has set me straight. You definitely bring the same energy to the table...if not more, working from home. Good job.

  6. Tell me about it, I thought that when I quit my day job and become my own boss I will be updating my blog like every other day BEANS!!! I'll be lucky if I can update it once a month *covers face* You are so right about discipline being very important cos without it doing just about anything will be a drag I guess.

    So sorry to hear about your least one lesson learnt the hard way "always backup your work" It's cheaper in the long run- trust me I know.

  7. Very real and true post. This period in Nigeria has opened my eyes to some of the peculiar challenges but with discipline, we can always achieve more.

  8. The last one got me. My Pastor said the same thing on Sunday; we should not just spiritualize everything. God has given us some specific resources, brain, knowledge, that we can put to use ourselves. No wonder the bible talks about God being able to do "exceedingly abundantly above all we could ever ask or think according to the POWER THAT WORKETH IN US". That power is already at work in us. Amen!

    - LDP

  9. I don't really agree with the statement "once the kids come, your life is out the window. Is this true?" it depends on how you intend to run your work and home life, I agree with mum no 2,you have to be super efficient once you start juggling work and family, I find I have to plan my days to the minutes, also get help where you can, some mums can be way too clingy to their children and are usually the ones that complain of not having a life, my code is balance, happy mums make happy children :-)

  10. This was a good one to read because sometimes i feel i am the only one who must be struggling to balance everything I want to do in one day. But yes the discipline is the most key part of it all and i keep hearing this repeatedly! This is to praying for the ability to be disciplined and balancing our various roles.