Thursday, May 26, 2011

What Will You Do If Your Brother's Fiancee is a Prostitute

Hello guys...saying welcome to the new followers. I hope you have a lovely time here. This is a place where we share our thoughts, feelings and experiences...I HOPE...loll...

Driving past law school around 10pm I saw the night workers all dressed scantily scouting around for customers. I could even spot one or two cars who had stopped, waiting for the girls to come on board after a nice bargain...

I asked myself this question: "what will I do if I found out that the girl my precious brother wanted to marry was once a prostitute?

Honestly I know I will rant and rave and try to frustrate the girl out of my brother's life.
I am sure my mother will drag my brother from one pastor to another so they could cast the demons away
As for my father its a definite " his blood sugar will rise to boiling point...

But then, do I even know why this girl got into prostitution at all?
It's so easy for me to judge when I have never lived in want?
It's so easy for me to condemn when I have never gone hungry, even for an hour.

Even though I rebuke my self, I still am not sure I will let the girl step into my brother's life... and what if to add to the wahala, she can never have children...

ewwooo in this country?
In Africa?
In Nigeria?
That means no son to carry the family name when we all leave this earth.....

For me this is such a tough decision.
That's why I have asked this question, and I will like to know your reaction genuinely...

I know its not our right to judge people but can we help it when it's close to home?

Do have a great day and looking forward to reading your comments.


  1. If it was my brother in this instance, I would be more pragmatic and say...'We have all made mistakes, so live and let live'

    However, if it was my son...I doubt I would be as understanding

    These are the kinds of tests I pray not to have.:))))

  2. Hmmm
    Is or was?
    Who is she now? That, to me is the issue.
    If she used to be, I can't bring myself to judge her. Perhaps cos I know that if the video of each of our lives way played on a big screen for all to see, we would all have moments of shame and in God's eyes, no sin is greater than the other.
    If that's her current lifestyle, that's another matter.

  3. Hey Phiri, do you think there is any good reason to prostitute, steal, etcetera? I don't think so. I really can't stand in judgement but I do think there are other respectable ways of making money, even if it meant asking to babysit, or wash dishes, or mow someone's lawn or something.

    If it were my brother, I honestly wouldn't say much. I would just pray more like either "God get her out of our home" or "God let your will be done".

  4. Like Ibhade would say, you'll never know your true reaction until you're faced with these situations.

    I know i wont be so understanding so lets just pray it never happens!

  5. @naijamum :really its tougher when its your son
    @ Gbemisoke :thanks
    @ The ladybird: yes there are more respectable ways to make money but sometimes some of these girls were forced into it. That's the only way of life they have known.
    @P.E.T. Project really. Like my mum will say bad thing shouldn't come near us.
    Thanks everyone for your comments.

  6. well, is she still one or was that in the past?
    it honestly is a tough decision 4 anyone but its not new, afterall Hosea in the bible married a prostitute.
    i pray not to have to be in this shoe any time bt if i was, i will only pray for God to bring out the best from it, as He always does.

  7. I think the present is more important than the past. I will befriend her and try to see that she is now a different, and trustworthy person.

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    Pls visit my blog to know more

  9. Im new here lol *waves hi back*
    Anyhow, i'd like to believe that i would say leave the past in the past. We all have a past, some a lot more sketchy than others. As long as she had stopped that lifestyle, is disease free and hasn't slept with like another sibling or family member (which obviously is something that would be between the girl the guy and the family member) than i can't really say anything. And honestly, how or why she got into doesn't matter because if i were really gonna go the judgmental route i'd still discredit any reason as there are other ways to make money in nigeria and abroad.

  10. Wow that's such a situation right there. Really, just pray to God to lead and most especially try to pretend that you don't know her past and let the present lead your thoughts. If her present is definitely worth it, you'll see her past gradually fade away in your thoughts.
    I know how hateful it could make you feel, but really just ask God to help.

  11. my philosophy is, as long as you are a mature adult and can make your own decisions with ALL the information put before you, then it does not matter what who chooses to do what with whom.

    I think the label prostitute conjures up the thought of disease and especially AIDS, but how many people do you know who got AIDS by just being promiscuous even though they were not getting paid for the sex? I know so many. None of my uncles and aunts who died were prostitutes. They just had sex with one wrong person and that was the end of that!!!

    So I guess we should just live and let live.

  12. Won't be in support of it, but if he's made up his mind, I doubt I can change it so I guess I'd have to live with it.

  13. thank you everyone for your comments really appreciate it.
    Well anybody in this situation God will help them sort it out.

  14. I love your comment, Qalil Helen.
    I want to say that the word 'prostitute' mean so many things, but we only know it in the context of girls in the street selling their bodies for money, and when we see them we turn up our noses in disgust and what i call 'un-righteous indignation'
    How about those of us who do it, not on the streets at night, but in many different ways by having affairs in secret or generally being promiscuous. Also, whether we stand in judgement or not, we should be thankful for the life we have, because I know first hand how very very easy it is to want to sleep with someone for money because yu are faced with dire circumstances. Let us just thank God that our circumstances are different, and that we have the will to reject taking some decisions, even as we fail in taking others.
    We will never know our true strenght (or self) until we are faced with a situation.
    All in all, God help us!
    Great thought Phiri.