Friday, May 18, 2012

Living With Your Husband In His Father's House/ Good or Bad

Hi everyone: thank you so much for your comments and suggestion as to what to do when one is bored. Anyways I have taken a few and I am trying to implement them. lol

Now to the topic of today, for the greater part of last night, a chat group almost ran down my battery with talks about women not being able to grow with a man any more. Almost all the men in the group were of the opinion that the woman of today just wants to get married to men who are rich, live in mansions and drive big cars... hmmmmm... Now is this true? Or are the men just being biased?

After a while the guys threw this question to the ladies... "will you live with your husband in a one room, in his father's house?"... Now this is where I draw the line. I can't live with a man in his father's house... even the Bible says " a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall become one". I believe couples need a lot of privacy, especially in the beginning of their marriage, without the interference of in laws.

The story of the lady that killed her husband, in Port Harcourt, was caused by the lady's sister in law. The sister in law (i.e. the mans sister), loved to pry into her brother's business. The last straw was when the sister moved into her brother's house and guess where she slept every night? In the couple's room. On their bed. What rubbish?
The sad part of the story is that the man couldn't see the abnormality of his sitter sleeping in the same room as himself and his wife.

I am not saying that all in laws are bad, but I know one thing every couple in Nigeria needs a space of their own, no matter how little.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely weekend.
Ciao



29 comments:

  1. well.... I am presently living with a couple that stay in the husband's house and even though their parents don't stay there, I don't think its nice, when the father comes, there is usually this tension to seem good and innocent and trust me, it affects all of us.

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  2. I cannot live with my husband in his fathers house and I wouldnt like my sons to bring their wives into my house
    If a man is mature enough to marry, he should be mature enough to at least pay rent
    There might be challenges in life i.e. when a man loses his job and has to count on his parent's support - but that should be temporary.....

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    1. very true. wouldn't want my sons either to bring their wives into my house.

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  3. Hia! In the same room as husband and wife? May God forbid it.... what?

    Yeah, alright! I understand where the men in the chatroom are coming from with the whole, "women want already made" but come on...you have to be a little more made than your father's house.

    I mean, I'm willing to slug it with you and what not just not under the glare of an in-law

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  4. Rubbish! people put up with because 'I must marry'

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  5. Noooo!!that is d height and am glad u drew the line of that father's or mother's house ish..I knw of one and it didn't go so well either and I concur with d bible part.nice blog.am already ff u and u cud visit my blog at www.mindshde.blogspot.com..

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    1. thank you for following me. will check your blog out asap

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  6. Dont know about other guys but i can`t raise a family where i was raised. *a kid raising a kid*

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  7. I will *temporarily* live with my husband in his parents home if God forbid we fall on hard times or some other circumstance that causes such. But um...if that how he's living when he proposes marriage then i may accept the proposal (depending on why he still is in his parents home) but we won't be getting married until he gets his stuff together.

    As for those men complaining...honestly some men just love to complain. The same ones complaining about a woman wanting a "ready made man" are the same ones who will complain about an independent woman. mschewwww

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    1. abi. you say a woman wants a ready made man, when you see an independent woman you don't like her either.. don't mind them.

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  8. I would prefer a man that has his own place and it's about maturity and planning his life more than wealth. I'll prefer a one room in another place than a flat in his parents mansion.

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  9. Parents tend to see their kids as kids even when they are 40,50,60 heck 70. You can never be too old for your parents. By that token they tend not to take you too seriously. Living with your parents when you are supposed to be a man standing on your own two feet just cements your 'child-like' state in their minds and they transfer that to your wife. The result of which is frustration in the marriage.
    As far as women wanting ready-made men goes, yes, it is true that most women want ready made men but it is not always from a gold digging perspective. We've all heard stories of a woman struggling with her husband to ensure they have the best life and when they achieve that, she's traded in for a newer, often times, younger woman. This is why a lot of women feel struggling with a man is an ideal of the past.Love your blog. Pls check out mine.

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    1. you are so right dearie. A lot of girls are really scared about struggling with a man because of the stories they hear. Thank you for the compliment will check your blog.

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  10. Horrible! No, I pray i'm never in that situation!

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  11. i agree with NIL just as i wont want my son live with his wife in my house, i wont want to live in my husbands parents house.
    And the guys who say this i have realised are lazy guyz who wont get up their asses and do something about their situation.

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  13. My husband bought a house WITH his father before we got married. So he is "ready made" in one sense- but I would give anything to go back and stop this decision so we could plan our lives together. I moved in with them when we got married. I have been living in this house almost 2 years and its not selling.. talk about a strain on a marriage

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