Kemka's hero, His Mother

With the permission of my friend I will re post this for everyone. I feel this will give people hope, help in situations, encourage families and who knows even help in donations... so I have decided not to post about the next Nigeria tribe.. doesn't mean I have forgotten it, getting back to it after this post...


My Son Kemka

The first and only note I have ever written on facebook was about my son Kemka on the 20th of May 2011 when he turned 1, and here I am again writing about Kemka, my beautiful, unique, awesome son.
Kemka was 15 months when I realized he wasn't answering to his name. This discovery started my journey down a long, painful yet worthwhile journey. I watched him for a while, then voiced my concerns to family and close friends. Everyone thought: "Nyema, you are over thinking it". He has met all his milestones, he babbles and even has quite a few words, he counts 1-3 when walking down the stairs, he is a happy kid! maybe he just doesn't like the name kemka, became the joke of the day.

But as a mother I worried, I was afraid. Slowly I started to notice he didn't play with his peers, wouldn't say bye when I left him to work, wouldn't make eye contact even if you had your face up in his, would rather play on his own and he slowly started to loose the few words he had, and slowly stopped following simple commands. I saw my son disappear from my home and I just had a stranger walking around in his body. By the time Kemka was 19 months I needed nobody to tell me something was wrong. I decided to see the GP with him during my maternity leave in the UK. I did and after seeing Kemka she referred us to a psychologist when Kemka was 22 months and after about 2 hours he came up with a report which was inconclusive as Kemka's hearing test came back fine and didn't quiet fit the requirement for a developmental defect. The doctor recommended that we have a repeat eval when Kemka turned 3. By this time kemka had completely stopped eating, stopped all forms of communication with us expert pulling your hand and taking it to what he wanted, and had stopped following any directives or commands at all, wouldn't respond to his name even if you yelled. This was frustrating and scary. I cried so much I wished I was dead. The more people told me nothing was wrong with him the more I was going insane because I felt everyone thought I was mad. I waited another month then opted to see a pediatrician for a milestone eval. When I told the pedriatrican what I knew to be the history, he conducted anN evaluation for Autism and other related illness on Kemka as well. 1day postpartum............that was a lot to take in.........

We saw the speech therapist and her eval showed Kemkas communication level at the stage of 6 months and by this time he was 24 months. Again a suspicion of Autism but cannot be diagnosed until he is three years old. By this time google had told me all I needed to know about Autism and more, and I woke up in hell every morning  after then. I became afraid of the future what it will hold for my beautiful boy, I prayed many prayers, I cried many tears, I felt completely helpless, wanted to spin my magic wand and make my son OK, make it all go away lil miss fix it just wanted to fix it. My greatest fear came when we will walk into a public place and Kemka will walk away and just keep walking away not looking back to find mummy or anyone else, not even if you screamed his name, I feared that my son didn't know me any more, would just keep walking if I didn't physically stop him and he would walk away and disappear forever, that thought visited my dreams every night. We came back home and I started a search for therapist in Nigeria specialized in autism and I found Blazing Heart Autism Center. Kemka started his therapy with Blazing Heart and they were doing a good job, managed to slowly bring back his eye contact if you stood up in his face. I continued my research with dear google and then I read about early intensive intervention therapy for children 18-36months with remarkable results of possibly a full recovery from autism. I discussed with my husband and we decided that we should try this option with Kemka. We had to take the decision for me to take a leave of absence from work for a year to enable me spend time with Kemka as he goes through therapy.

Kemka is soooooooooooooooooo much better now, he is 34 months now, he has amazing eye contact, seeks you out to play, he understands simple commands, when we go out to a public place, he turns around to look for his mummy's hands holds on firm and would never let go....And I am reassured my boy isn't going anywhere. He isn't fully there yet, but I know he is fighting his way through. I see my son coming back to the happy playful kid he used to be, I see him filing my world with love, joy and laughter. Its been a rough journey, still so much more to be achieved, still some hurdles to cross, some challenges to overcome, more victories to be won. I still cry quiet a few tears but some of them are now tears of joy.


"I cried as I read this and I am so happy that Kemka has the best mum ever.

Ciao

The Yorubas

Hello guys today I am talking about the Yoruba tribe, I am married to a Yoruba man but I will try not to be partial. lol

Anyways I loved the comment, emails and face book messages I got from the last post about the Igbo tribe.. Nice one keep them coming guys cos its very encouraging.

The Yoruba's are known to be scholars. I find it so funny that I will go to a friend's house and see a picture of their grandfather or mother graduating from a university in the UK, in 1914 which was very rear at that time. (If you know what i mean)

Secondly I think they are one tribe that has the highest set of British Nigerians as a lot of them where born in the UK before the law was changed.

I find them also very enterprising as in that the Balogun Alhajas seat down on pots of gold if you know what I mean. They may not know how to speak English, in fact a lot of them just stick to the Yoruba that they know, but the business of making money they understand. Like I said in my last post money doesn't care what language you understand provided you understand it's principles.

I find both their men and women to be very hardworking and enterprising, I like to think that they work hard and party harder.

When I lived in Port Harcourt, my dream in life was to go to school, graduate, do a 9 to 5, marry, have kids, retire at most build one or two houses for retirement benefits and then grow old and finally die... all these changed when I got to Lagos and I saw what a lot of my mates even girls younger than I was working it..hustling... struggling to see their business work and grow. I watched friends start from nothing to something... Lagos put me on my feet. My Yoruba friends put me on my feet. I still had the dreams of marrying and having kids, but the 9 to 5 changed I realised that I loved being my own boss ( in my head if Jumoke could do it then I could). So instead of wanting just one or two houses I would love a lot more, strictly for business purposes.

They are not to particular about having male children... even though you still find some that wont change.


The down sides of the Yoruba's


They are very clueless as to the other tribes in Nigeria. I find it annoying when they refer me and all the other tribes as Igbo... are they for real..don't they know that there is Niger delta, there are states like Rivers State, Cross Rivers state etc...

They can be tribalistic, although I  think a lot of that is changing as you know I am married to a Yoruba guy...(lol I am sure you will say this lady is just rubbing it in...sorry can't help it).

Now I get to their culture I just don't understand why I have to prostrate as a sign of respect. I can show my respect by just being polite... I think they should be open to other people's culture.

This is what I find very amusing: Yoruba's are the most unserious Moslem's I have ever come across. I can never forget the day i went for a Yoruba Muslim's wedding after the Muslim rights and wedding, a pastor suddenly materialized and started praying in GOD the father, GOD the son and GOD the Holy Ghost I was as shocked as can be.


I think I will stop here... please let me know what you think and if there is anything I have missed just feel free to send them in.

P.S. "this is not in anyway intended to insult anybody or tribe.

Do take care and have a lovely day...

Ciao

Various Tribes (Igbo Tribe)

Nigeria is a country with about 150millions citizens and counting, with different ethnic groups, tribes, villages, languages and divers cultures I love this about Nigeria as it makes the country a very interesting one. I decided that over time I will do a study on a lot of the tribes in Nigeria or should I say as many tribes in Nigeria I can blog about, talking about their weakness and a lot about their strength.
The Ibo tribe is my first point of call as I love their enthusiasm when it comes to making money. Now if you want to be an entrepreneur or are already one, I will advise that you have a few trusted Ibo friends by your side, understudy them as they conduct their business and learn a lot about endurance, determination and not eating one's profit until they have arrived.  (ie this advise is for me)...


I know this guy who goes by the name "OKE Japan", he sells very beautiful professional cameras in Lagos Island. Now his shop/kiosk/store is very small in fact five people can barely seat inside it comfortably (meaning he doesn't pay a lot of money for over head. LOL). Now if you stay in his place for like 3 hours which you usually will do as there are a lot of customers, you will be surprised to find out that he has sold goods worth 3million and all in cash. "His slogan is if you want to speak grammar speak to my wife she has PhD, but if you want to talk business and money come and talk to me, that is what I understand).

An Ibo man will sleep under his brother's bed for 7 years just to learn a trade, after which his brother will settle him, meaning paying him off and sending him off to go and start his own business.

After reading Chinua Achebe's novel "there was a country", I realised that if the federal government had just recognized the talent the Ibo's had and had encouraged them, giving them resources and good standardization of the products, Nigeria would have become the next China or better still blown up before China did. Will this ever happen I almost doubt that, but like always I hope.

It's only an Ibo man that if the government banes the use of generators in Nigeria, instead of lamenting for years and thinking of how this bad luck must be from his village, will just switch to selling transformers without asking questions. I also love them as they mostly believe in volume sales and make good use of it. It surprised me when I got to Republic of Benin and I was told that there is an Igbo market, I had to go and see it myself.


Their weaknesses

They can be very fast and I mean that in a bad way. One is almost very careful when one has a business deal with them..lol

Because of their gift of making money, they usually aren't interested in going to school which in a way is comme si comme ca.

Although its gradually changing, Male kids are considered better than female kids. I think this is still prominent amongst Ibo's and I wish it will change soon, that's why I am so happy when I see Igbo families that have strong females.


I gotta sign off...

above all there is an exception to every rule and I think they have a lot in common with the Chinese.

P.S. "Please this post is not intended to insult anybody...just observations....comments will be welcomed.


Ciao

My Hero/Happy mother's day

Okay so I have been having phones issues for a long time now and it hasn't been funny. I have resolved to stop using post paid and go to pre-paid. its easier to track my credit use.

Anyways I missed you all and I have to just make it up. I have been working on my bag designs and setting up a business I must say not easy as one is also juggling motherhood.

P.S. Check this space cos some big giveaways: coming soon.

I was just chatting with my neighbour today that men staying sexy and being a mother ain't easy.. This evening I was smelling of baby poop, baby vomit, spit and baby milk. You can imagine how I smelt horrible. Since my darling's bed time is 7pm, after her bed time, I took a hot shower, now that is priceless.


I should have written this post a while ago but couldn't... on the 25th of February I went to pick up Temi from the airport. so with Yosola strapped in her car seat, the radio jamming some lovely tunes I hit the road, ready to go and pick my man. By the time I got to the toll gate, I realised that in my enthusiasm I forgot my bag, meaning I also forgot my wallet meaning I had no money on me. Chei yepa!!!! what was I going to do. Who was going to believe this babe with dark sunglasses, black air conditioned car, that she didn't have a dime on her.
Anyways I just said a short prayer before I got to the toll, quickly I just called out to the attendant and politely explained that I had forgotten my wallet blah blah blah. Without any shakara, the young man told me that I could go... I was so glad and touched...

I know sometimes it's hard to believe good things still happen in this great country of ours, sometimes I even almost don't trust a lot of people I come across as I have been duped several times, but I must say Ibrahim the toll gate attendant was my hero for the day.



Wishing every mother, intending mothers, god mothers, grandmothers happy mothers day...

P.S. "I saw this on facebook : "if every one's mum is the best then who owns the mums that are doing witchcraft?"

Lol I laughed and from the stories I have heard some peoples mums aren't good people at all... But we still wish them a happy mothers day as well.


Happy mother's day to my mum "Prof. Aduabobo Ibitoru Hart

Ciao

MY WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY

Just before I gave birth to my daughter I was weighing 95kg, meaning I had gained a lot  considering I weighed 55kg before I became pregnant ie (gaining appr. 40 kg). During the last stage of the pregnancy, I stopped looking at the scale each time I went to the hospital. I was afraid I had gotten up to a hundred kilos. Anyways when I gave birth I was determined to loose the weight, thereby learning a lot from the experience. You aren't allowed to exercise until after your 6 weeks check up, so I just changed my diet, note  I didn't go on a diet as I was breastfeeding, I just had a lifestyle change. Instead of fizzy drinks I took water. Instead of white rice I ate brown rice. Instead of white bread I ate wheat bread with peanut butter, instead of a lot of carbs I took more proteins like beans and a lot of unripe plantain porridge.

I had my cheat days though: those days I will drink a bottle or two of coca cola, maybe sometimes have a little ice cream, eat white rice, or white bread etc. After my 6 weeks check up, I started my exercise, now my dears I learnt that exercising and changing one's habit isn't as easy as it looks... There were days when I will just decide I can't do it any more but I had made a vow that when my daughter is born I will learn to eat right and teach her also how to, this kept me going... I am still struggling with the fizzy drinks as I used to be a coke addict averaging about 5 bottles of coca cola a day.


Right now I weigh 63kg meaning I have lost about 30kg. I am very impressed with myself, giving myself a tap on the back...lol

Like I said eating right isn't very easy,one just has to take it one day at a time, and that is what I have been doing. I hope I  am able to keep my good diet as it also has helped with the growth of my hair and finger nails, truly what you take in produces results...

I will have to stop here for now as I can't wait to lay my head on the pillow.


Please tell me about your weight struggles if you have had any before and how you dealt with yours.
Do take care of yourself and have a good night's rest.

WHERE CAN ONE FIND MONEY IN NIGERIA?

First of all I will like to say congrats to Nigeria for winning the African cup of nations... Now I must confess I didn't support them at all, didn't even believe in them but I guess I had to eat my words when we did a go job today.


Now back to our topic for today.... it baffles me that a country where almost 80% of the population live under a dollar, yet they able to survive, in the grassroots, the corner shops guys are able to survive everyday. I got into a discussion with the lady that usually comes to my house to clean, and we were just talking about everything. As we were talking I asked her if she was still selling recharge cards for phones, she said no and I asked why? in her own words:

Me: why did you stop selling the cards
Cleaner: because no gain
Me: are you serious?
Cleaner: yes aunty
Me: so what will you do now
Cleaner: I have a shed were I sell small small things like groundnut, garri, etc
Me: are you serious. And how much did you use to start it?
Cleaner: ten thousand Naira
Me: that's great. but do you make profits
Cleaner: yes I do, like when I buy a bucket of groundnut for seven hundred naira, by the time I sell it I make about #1,500 (naira) and groundnut and garri moves fast a lot.
Me: interesting
Cleaner: I want to start selling coke because it will bring more money
Me: that is very good.



After this talk with the lady it dawned on me that the money in Nigeria is not in the cooperate world, or in the banks, the money in Nigeria is on the streets. The equivalent of this lady, in America is the "mum and pop", stores.


Lessons learnt: if I behave like the cleaner with my money I will be able to have invested it in something small and be able to get at least #5,000 in my hands everyday.....


Note to self: we underestiamte the determination of a man who has decided to work hard.

Its time to go. Take care and have a lovely day.

I AM BACK

Aww just looked at my last post and it's dated January 4th,  I should be doing more.
Anyways I think I am really getting a hang of motherhood and loving it, so more posts to come. My daughter who is 5 months, is now on a schedule. She now sleeps all through the night between 10 to 12 hours and that is pure heaven. By 7 p.m she is feed properly, note: once a baby is well feed she will sleep like a log of wood". So she eats, is changed for the night, a little play time and in less than an hour and a half she is asleep, till the next morning. This gives Temi and I time to gist, catch up on the day, then if I can I squeeze in a little reading and writing. Like they say little by little one will accomplish all one has set out to.


About my weight journey, its coming out well, my tummy is still big, but let's see what will happen in the coming months.

About the eating right, I think we are doing good in that department, no fizzy drinks in the house, even though I must say that sometimes I just want to buy some bottles of coca cola and just drink it...ahhh refreshing....

I joined a writers challenge in the month of January we were suppose to write between 500 to 2000 words everyday for the whole month. hmmm I must say that was one of the hardest things to do, I wrote up to 17k words, would have loved to write more than that maybe the 30k range but oh well, I am happy that I have been able to do this.

Now: what do I want for this blog: like I said I will try my best to post motivational articles, things that interest me, my products and hope that I will get some sales for them. I have a few gifts I will like to give out, I hope it gets out of my house before Val's day..


NOTE:  I think I have talked to much...was just telling my friend that I think I have fallen into the category of to much talk and no action... now action is the key...


Happy new year once again, Sweet dreams.