KAREN!!!!!KAREN!!!!!!KAREN!!!!

Hmmm Karen what a character I must say.

Now that all the hype of BIG BROTHER is over I wonder what she must be doing now.

It's so funny I can remember when BIG BROTHER started almost everybody I knew including me couldn't stand Karen. We felt she was very local, bush, razz you name it. In fact there was one episode I watched where she was told to read out a task and she couldn't even read properly. All the housemates where laughing at her.

But along the line, I don't know what happened or how it happened, she became our love.

I must give it to her, she was everything I will not want in a woman.. Maybe my grandmother will be rolling in her grave at her unladylike manners, but at the end she won.

I picked up a very valid lesson and I will stick to IT:

"Despite what people thought of her, she stuck with being herself. She didn't care if the next person was going to criticize her or tell her she wasn't fit to be called a Nigerian. She was just KAREN with a large heart. You may not agree with me but I think its true. It got me thinking

Why am I always worried about what people will say?

Why should their opinion of me put me in misery?

If I am not myself then who am I deceiving? Really who?...

I remember when I went to have a haircut and I told the barber I wanted a Mo hawk I was so scared and so ashamed to walk out of the salon. My mind racing wondering what people would say about me?

Will they think I am very unruly or will they think I am not a christian or will they think I am a unserious?

All these thoughts and more ran through my mind... after taking control of my thoughts, I became in charge and said " to hell with what anybody thinks"...

You will not believe, but everybody likes my hair.

They say I have guts and courage. They say I am bold.

They say I have defied the rules and regulations of being married,

but I say I am just being me.

You no what? I have learnt that even if I have a hair cut, or I have a weave, people will still love me or hate me. I should be myself and enjoy this life for it is too short to be ruled by the misery of others.

N/B : my "to do list"

From last week monday till today: I have read 6 novels. 3 by Sandra Brown very interesting author her books are a melange of romance and suspense, and I love it.

Myne Whiteman's book " a love rekindled". I can't help loving it. I love that the twin brothers could tell each other's thoughts. I am in love with twin boys.

Still struggling with the non fiction book: the one about "social media". That is taking a lot of my patience..loll..

I wrote my article.

I didn't send in my CV cos I thought about it, and not sure that's what I want to do.

I didn't post every day on my blog cos MY Internet was acting up which gave me a big excuse to be lazy.

I have finished 1 of the baby afghan(blankets).....

New to do list asap.

I guess it's good to set task, one way or the other you kinda come around to it.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely day.

Ciao

Lesson 1

Hello everyone...sorry I didn't have a post yesterday, my Internet was acting up, so I couldn't do anything. But I succeeded in keeping to my diet...hmm how hard....trust me its so hard.. NO FIZZY DRINK

Anyways like I promised I will like to gist you what I learnt....

I was conducting a research and I realized that a lot of small business stand the risk of folding up after 2 years of operation. Why? I realized that even though they don't realize it, they seem to have problems with debts, managements and the almighty "FUNDS".

First of all a lot of us have huge business plans which state that we have to have 5 million naira in other to start a business.

Now I ask myself: "who is going to give you a loan of #250,000 for a start when you haven't proven that you can turn water into wine?

How do you think you will get a loan of 5 million naira? And so we sit there not doing anything just waiting for the funds which will never come.

There are a lot of things to do to avoid making mistakes or borrowing huge sums of money that one may spend the rest of one's life paying...

1. Before you start a business note this: " it's very difficult to get a loan. Even if you can, it is not advisable to rush quickly to take a loan. Look around you: "what is it you can do that can generate the money you need for the business? It has to be a skill or what you have in your head or a service you can offer. I believe everybody can do the extraordinary when they are forced to. For example if you will like to own a restaurant, and you don't have money to start, you can start by cooking in your house and just inviting friends over. I know at least you can sacrifice a few cups of rice for a tasting party. Trust me word of mouth is one of the strongest form of marketing and it can get your name out there. If your food is lovely nobody will forget, as I have learnt people like good food. I know someone who had a tasting party for her sandwiches and that's how her sandwich business kicked off. Within months she was making sales of #50,000 i.e. about $300 daily. As it occurred to you that teachers who want to be owners of schools, start out first by organizing after school lessons. This they do for years before they finally open their school. OR photographers who freelance for a long time till they are able to open their propre studio......

2. As much as possible run away from overheads, this is something you don't need when starting a business. In Nigeria were the electricity isn't that great, you have to supplement with generator, meaning fuel or diesel, meaning extra expenses. The notion that you must rent an office, or have a shop is wrong. At first you can start from anywhere, preferably your house. With the advent of social media, it's easy for one to be in one's house and conduct one's business. You can always meet your clients in their office. That a lot easier for them, as it removes the hassle of locating your office. (note for this make sure you have a credible online presence).

3. As an entrepreneur you must have a focus...only you know what your focus is. When you stay on that you will see that little by little you will get to your goal.

4. Never start a business that you are not passionate about. For instance I, Tamunoibifiri Mobolaji-Kamson decides that I want to go into catering...HOW? Why? Because I can see that all over the world food brings in the money. Now I am very sure that I will fold up in less than 2 years. For I do not have any passion in cooking whatsoever. The comedian "Basketmouth" said he started as a stand up comedian in 1995, but didn't get his first big break until 2001. He said if you do not have the passion don't do it".

I will stop here and I hope you had fun. If there is any other thing you will like to add to this list please feel free to do so. If there is anything that doesn't go well with you, just let me know. I am open to your comments and your questions.

For the record I am through with Myne Whitman's book " A LOVE REKINDLED" and I must say I loved it".

Do take care of yourself and see you tomorrow..

Ciao

My List

Good morning everyone. I hope we all had a lovely weekend. Thank you for your comments on facebook and on secretlilies. I am always encouraged anytime I see them.

Today is Monday and I have a list of things I need to accomplish this week. I hope I accomplish them all.

1. I need to write 2 articles and make sure they are accepted.

2. Review my book and send it to a friend who has offered to edit it for me and pray that she finds it publishable.

3. Work on my CV and send it to a french friend, as I am looking for ways to practice my french weekly.

4. Read and finish 3 books this week. (I wonder how I will do this with all the things on my plate.... I have to read a book about social network as I will be doing my first public speaking in about a month's time).. Imagine of all the things they will want me to speak on: " social network".. What do I know about social network.

My dears quickly I had to run to look for a book, or something that will help. Anyways will gist you about it soon. Then I have Myne Whiteman's " A love Rekindled" which I will love to read this week. And the third one is BlACKBIRD" by Jude Dibia. (Hmmm.. I joined a readers club and this book was recommended.. I hope I love it).

5. I have an order for 3 baby blankets, so I have to make that. Good thing, the blankets will be delivered within a month, so no hurry. But I will still like to start now, as crocheting helps me relax.

6. Oh don't forget I need to do some cooking, which I hate...wait a minute.. I don't have to any more for Temi will not be around..yippee...Although I will miss him sha...

A little secret I have also started my diet and this got Temi scared cos he thought I was going to starve him. LOL. Anyways I actually want to stop eating from 7pm, cos I hear that it is the remedy to reduce big tummy and you will not believe it, but my stomach is too big for my size. I actually have to take my tummy in when I go out"...

7. My friend: author of Diary of a desperate Naija woman, told me that I should post regularly on my blog. She said the intervals were to long. So I have decided that I will try to say something every day, or at least every other day. I hope you don't get bored and stop commenting.

8. I have decided to learn something new every day. Don't worry I will practice what I will learn on you guys, (don't be scared they will all be positive things). So from now on I will be giving tips on a lot of things, mostly "Advise for small businesses in Nigeria" (I hope I am able to carry this cross, for it is hard..loll), a little about health, lifestyle and a little about fashion...

9. I need to make sure I read my bible and pray everyday..

10. I need to stick to my rule and wake up everyday by 7am, have my bath and go to work, even though I work from my house.

HMMMMMM my brothers and sisters, this list sef I have put together e no easy at all... God will help me.

Do take care of yourself and as always I will let you know if I was able to achieve all that I set out to do this week.

Ciao

MY WEEKEND

Hi guys my weekend was so hectic but it was fulfilling at the same time. Let me gist a little about it.

Friday:

Today was the photography workshop. I woke up very early to prepare sandwiches for their tea break. After which, I made Jollof rice, salad, grilled chicken and beef. Food was ready on time and by 1pm they ate. They so praised the food that they asked me if I did catering for a living. I laughed within me: "if only they knew how I hated cooking".

Saturday:

The last day for the photography workshop. First of all everything that could go wrong went wrong with the venue. After the sanitation, Temi and I got there @ 11am, only to find the gate locked. We spent 40 minutes trying to locate the worker who kept the keys but he was no where to be found. After breaking and entering, cos we had no choice, the manager finally came. The generator didn't work all through the day, so our clients were without electricity. Imagine paying for something and it's not there. It was so frustrating.

Then for some reason the coconut rice turned out very bad. I just prayed over it and served the food like that. You will not imagine the praise I got. Everybody loved the food, and someone even asked if I could come cook for an event.....

This prayer that God should just color your mistakes is so true and it works.

Besides all the challenges, our clients enjoyed themselves and they learnt a lot. They loved the food dearly.

Note taken: we will never use that venue again and I will not even recommend my enemy to use it".

Now in between the cooking and the running around, I was able to make it for the celebrity reads in Terra Kulture. There I meet in person Bola Essien-Nelson the author of " The Diary of a Desperate Naija Woman". She is so nice. I love her personality, very strong, exciting and she is someone you will definitely want to be friends with. I also made some good friends like " Nathan Akinremi aka FLo... and a musician Korode Bello. I must say this Korode Bello's voice "can make any woman fall in love".

Sunday:

I went to church early, almost didn't go, cos I was so tired but I had to. The "early morning prayer" was so nice and refreshing, I needed that. For I must confess its been a while since I have actually gotten on my knees to pray. The relationship expert Michelle Mckinny Hammond was the guest preacher. I got her novel "Playing God" autographed.

I had planned to listen to her preach, but I had to help out in junior church. So I was stuck teaching the nannies. But I must say I had fun with them.

One thing I have learnt from them: is that they are in their own world and most at times they just need directions. From them I have learnt that a lot of the "christian madams" really discriminate against them. They usually don't have offerings, and are dressed shabbily. But there are some nannies that even you sef will say: "ah my friend your madam is an angel".

Now I will leave you guys as I want to take a nap, and get ready for the" big brother" finals today. I hope Karen wins cos she is so real.

You can imagine Temi, that told me "big brother" was a waste of time, is pleading with me to record it as he will not be around... HMMMMM..

Anyways do take care and hope you have a lovely week ahead.

Ciao.

My Thoughts

Hello and how r u?

thought to let u know my thoughts

I heard someone say this and I wanted to ask for your honest opinions...

1. Its not good for women to drink. Why? Cos it will affect them when they want to have children.

I asked: What about men? oh men, they don't have a problem. They don't go through the process of birthing a child..

Are you for real...." according to www.malefertilitycure.com " Alcohol is bad for fertility. Too much alcohol can affect the quantity of your sperm and it can dampen your sex drive".... So hello its bad for both male and females.

2. Women don't know how to drive properly especially when they drive on roads they are not familiar with..... From research I have observed that men are not good with directions, and they will never ask until the last minute.

3. Women shouldn't sleep in till 10am they should be up and about by 7am. wow!!!!!! This one for me it depends on what kind of job or life they live. I say if you have time to sleep in please do regardless of your sex.

4. When husbands give their opinion it should not be questioned? " In a marriage do we run a dictatorship? both of them aren't they partners.

In fact the list goes on and on and then I wonder do we still have a lot of the old mentality in us...

Just yesterday I heard of a couple who were on the verge of separating ..Why cos they didn't have any children and as always it was the woman's fault.. The man's people were already on their way with the second wife, the wife that could bear the grand children.

I ask myself when will this stop?

When will everyone have equal rights?

When will mother in laws leave their daughter in laws alone and know that they do not own their destiny?

When will mothers stop pressuring their daughters to get married even when they themselves regret their marriages?

When will not having a male child stop being an issue?

When will a single woman well past the age of 30 stop being looked at as an outcast cos she isn't married with kids?

It's so sad and I must say life isn't suppose to be this way. I don't think our creator, created anyone to be oppressed by his fellow man?

It's time for change, its time we learn.

I know I will become a mother in law some day, when I do, I will never interfere in my children's marriage. It is not my place. I have lived my life, it is time for me to let them live theirs.

Do take care of yourself and have a lovely day.

P.s. Please let me know what you think.. I hope I do not sound like a feminist..LOL

Now I have to go. The photography seminar is tomorrow and Saturday and I am the one cooking. I hate cooking but oh well the things we do for love..Right now the meat is on the fire...kissing my teeth...which i could go to bed right now...loll

Ciao

New Week

Hello everyone... How r u? I hope you had a lovely weekend cos me I sure did.

Sadly, I haven't kept my promise: " of blogging 3 times a week.

Men!!!!! setting goals is so easy, but implementing them is another ball game. But I will try with the help of the Almighty God.

Let me gist you about my boring weekend.

Friday: woke up late, just basically spent the day reading a romance novel..Oh boy.. don't you think I should get a life? loll. Anyways my uncle (this is my husband, I like to call him uncle when I want to be mischievous or I am not happy with him and don't forget I always add the accent), said we were going to the movies, late at night. Excited about it, you know watching movies at 11pm in the dark...Really something to look forward to. Anyways my dear we didn't go again oh, cos he was tired.. That's why I stopped calling him Temi (which in Yoruba means "my own"), and I started calling him uncle with the accent.

Slept angry...*kissing my teeth*

Saturday:

I went for drama practice in the morning and market with uncle in the afternoon. Since he didn't take me out on Friday night, he decided to join me to the market. So his name changed back to Temi. (Now I am happy and I have forgiven him)...

After the haggling I was able to buy goat meat, which was originally #6,000 for #2900. This amazed Temi as he had earlier told me to buy the meet for the price of #6,000...Imagine. How can I go to market and just take the price they give me, abi did my mother not teach me well...loll. After this we came back home.

Sunday:

This was my girls time out after service, so I told Temi bye and off I went..(Regular girls time out is a very good recipe). I went for 2 shows. The first one cost #2,000 but till I departed by 4pm it hadn't started and I didn't like the organization. The second one which held in Expo center, Eko hotel and which was #1,000 was fantastic. Round table sitting, drinks at your disposal, and fantastic food. Eko hotel standard... buffet.....

Menu: fried rice, white rice, potato, different types of salad, fish and goat meat pepper soup, ofada rice and sauce, beef, chicken, stew, efo, pounded yam etc. I couldn't believe my eyes. Artists like TY Bello, Kate Henshew, Basketmouth, Tara etc. where there and they all spoke, encouraging the youths. For me Tonye Cole killed it. I was deeply impressed.

The end..

Monday:

new week, a lot of deadlines, Seriousness begins.

Do take care and have a lovely day.

Please let me know how your weekend went? I am so sure it will not be as boring as mine...

Hello

Hi guys.. its been a while and I missed all of you. Sorry I have been incommunicado, I went on hoils and got lazy posting. But anyways I am back and I promise this will not repeat itself again.

So what has been happening in your lives, please gist me?

For me I have learnt that life for a lot of people isn't as it seems. A lot of Nigerians living abroad are suffering.

I have learnt that there are Rats in London...loll.. " Now why I say this is because I overheard a conversation between 2 ladies in the salon, and one of them said that there weren't any rats in London"....... Can you imagine my shock? They so have Rats and next time I travel I have been asked to bring Nigerian Rat poison, it works wonders..loll

Lastly I have learnt that from next year international students in the UK will not be given 2 years post study visa. They will be shoved back home after spending millions on education... How sad....But then again if our Government transforms our educational system. create jobs for the youth, wouldn't Nigeria be a better place?

This should be a challenge to our Government that we should make our educational system really "the best harbor of education".. if there is anything like that..

Oh well enough of all the hard stuff, genuinely how r u? I hope fine? How did you all survive through the Lagos rain of last Sunday? If you ask me that was Nigeria's natural disaster.

I hope it doesn't rain like that anymore. For the last thing we need in this country is "natural disaster"

Take care of yourself and have a lovely day.