Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Respect!

Hello lilies, its so good to be able to chat once again. I love it so much and am sure you do. its our gossip time.....lol... anyways i said we will continue our discussion about money, but i have decided to put it on a hold for now, and lets talk about something else. Something very cruical i learnt about this morning and I can't help but sharing it with y'all.........
I have learnt that for a relationship to work, i mean a relationship between a man and a woman, there needs to be respect. Why is it that men crave for respect a lot? Why is it so important for a wife to be respectful to her husband,even when he has hurt her? because of the why's and why's and why's ....
i had to do a little research using my husband and i, wait a minute let me tell you a little about my husband. My husband is a very quiet man,and doesn't like to fight. Its so easy for him to say sorry even when he is not at fault......but there was one thing he said to me, after we had some little you know nowwwww, he said you can get anything in this world you want, if you will only respect me.
I asked him what he meant and he said,: if i know you respect me i can give you the whole world. If its possible i can bring the moon to you. He told me that men love to be treated with respect. Am not saying that you have to treat him like a tyrant or someone you are afraid of. No!!!!!!
I think what he just meant was that if women will stop treating their husbands like their younger brothers then they will be more happy at home. If they will just stop nagging, they will dwell in peace.....
It dawned on me then that, men crave for respect. That's how God created them......
Note this: if a man knows that his wife respects and believes in him he can accomplish what Metuselah couldn't accomplish........
A lot of times especailly during a quarrel, we as women talk a lot. Its common knowledge that we are prone to talking as women, in fact before our husbands say one word, we have said ten words in the space of a second. A lot of times our words are like arrows, shot only for the aim of destruction.
I was reading James 3 today and James said that the tongue is very small but very powerful. The tongue is what we use to praise God and rain abuses on man. This is not right..........don't forget this: 'anything said can never be taken back'. That is why it is very important to mind what we say to people, especially our husbands. If we talk less and listen more we will find out that we will have a more peaceful home, our husbands will see us as very respectful wives and delight in us.
Please let's learn to control how tongue. Join me in my campaign against talking too much.
you can do it. From today try to listen more and talk less'. Learn to keep quiet your mouth shut and please when ever there is a quarrel between your partner and you, don't highlight his faults. In fact listen for once and keep quiet, and when you do finally speak, talk in a very calm tone.
I hope i have been able to get through to you positively. Let this be our motto as lilies: talk less and listen more.
Do take care and have a lovely evening....let me give you a tip.......if your married, try something new today..............surprise your husband, and please let me know the outcome.
For the single ladies don't think i have forgotten you, dont worry you' re almost there.........try this.......start now to talk less and listen, it will be your best tool in marriage.
Goodbye and take care

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Money! Money! Money!

Whats up lilies? How are you today & how did your day go? Interesting I suppose, cos mine was interesting, and dont worry I will tell you all about it. Before I left my house this morning, I asked God for favour. My itinerary for today was : go to the bank, fill my tank, buy my experience tee-shirt and then go to the reading room. (hellooooooo the reading room is where i usually chat). The bank was number 1 cos i had to make some transactions for my husband. As i got to the bank, long story started, but as God will have it I was able to complete the transaction. Secondly on my way to the bank all the fuel stations I passed had a queue, it was as though 'fuel scarcity' had returned in full force...I am so sorry I missed out the most interesting part of the story, on my way to the reading room LASTMA stopped me (Am sure you all know them). The guy started telling me of how I was going to pay 50k and then pay 20k for driving lessons for two weeks. After all the long grammer i just told the man that i didn't have that kind of money to spend. In fact what actually changed his mind was when I called him my friend, he was shocked. He told me that so long as he wears this uniform, people see him as the enemy. After everything we gisted and he got off the car, I gave him something though but that was because i wanted to and it was just his lunch........we even talked about Christ. God's favor is real........ Now back to the topic for today 'Money'. this five letter word is very strong. Its a medium of exchange and a lot of times its the key to walk into highly guarded offices.......if you know what i mean.
Questions have been asked, should a woman be rich? why is it that when a woman has money men shy away from her? the questions go on and on and on. Different people have their different views about it and i don't judge them for that, but for me I think a woman should be rich. I think a woman should be able to invest and be amongst the richest people in the world. I also believe that she can have all the fame, wealth and still have a family ie a husband and children. I believe that a man shouldn't feel threatened by the accomplishments of his wife

A book am reading, 'Rich Woman' by Kim Kiyosaki the wife of the famous Robert Kiyosaki of the 'rich Dad Poor Dad'....talks about women and investment. (i think all women should endeavour to read this book). In the forward of her husband, Robert said this: 'after complementing his wife, he said that obviously when he met her it was her outer beauty that attracted him first, but after their date he discovered that she was not just a pretty head but she had a brain.
The forward of Sharon Lechter, she said : ' you don't get married expecting to get divorced. Many women end up staying in unhappy and unhealthy relationships because of money'.
'in a job, the more successful you become, the busier you are, and the less time you have for other endeavors'.
'often it is that first step that is the most difficult. By taking control of your own financial future you will find the self-confidence to help you in all areas of your life'

All these highlighted points brings us to one direction...money and investement.
It is not wrong, or sinful to want to be rich and financial free as a woman. The good thing is that you can have all that and have a healthy family life. The beauty of investing and having your own thing is this: you are your own boss. how does it sound? am sure every body likes to be his own boss, as for me i can't wait to become by own boss. I can choose my work time. I can wake up anytime I want, wear what I like to wear and especially travel anytime I want to travel.
I will stop here for today and will continue tomorrow, but I want to ask you this question: ' what type of woman do you want to become? do you want to live this earth without any trace left of you or you want to be remembered? think of having money this way, it will make you feel less of a sinner....lol..... you can become one of the greatest philanthropists in the world. With money you will be able to donate 1million bibles in countries like Indian, food for the poor etc... that way you help spread the gospel.
Note: it is not a sin neither is it bad to want and love a beautiful life. Life is short. Enjoy all the good things of life. After all God told Abraham:' I will give you all the good things in life'.
Tata! and have a nice day.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Proverbs 18:22

Hello lilies! How was your weekend/ hoilday? it was fantastique i guess. As for me i had fun like i told you yesterday my friends came into town, so we painted Lagos red......... shhhhhhhhhhh dont mind me am just kidding.......................I had fun without painting the town red. Anyways today as i was taking my usual walk round the estate this verse came to mind...proverbs 18:22...... please read this interesting story......
A young, established, rich, famous and influential man and his wife were on their on his way to a party,on their way they had to buy gas for the car. As their driver pulled over into the filling station the wife looked out the window, to her surprise she recognized the young man selling gas. He was her ex-boyfriend, her high school sweetheart (if you know what i mean). After getting gas the couple continued on their journey as was expected she told her husband what she had just discovered. Her husband's reply: ' sweetheart i think you should be very grateful that you got married to me. If you hadn't you will have been the wife of that pump guy. I mean the wife of a fuel attendant.............the wife's reply..............
No honey! if i hadn't married you, you would have been the fuel attendant, standing over there selling fuel and the fuel attendant would have been over here, sitting in the back seat of this limo buying fuel.........at this point the man remembered this passage : ' whoso findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour from the LORD'.
As women God has made us very useful in the lives of our husbands, our homes and our society. If we know how precious we are, we will not take trash from anyone. Listen its not behind a successful man there is a woman but besides every successful man there is a woman. When a man finds a woman automatically he obtains favour from God. God doesn't go down on his word and He is not a man that He should lie. Use this as your weapon in time of huddles and when it is 'situation time'.
As i looked at this scripture i realised that for everything that happens to your husband, you are almost 100% responsible for it. You are to be his council. You are to be his comforter here on earth, you are the shoulder he leans on. You are his greatest cheerleader and supporter. You support his dreams and goals and help him build it. You are his prayer warrior. ( Stormie Omartian the author of 'the power of the praying wife' said this: as a wife your prayers have the strongest hold on your husband. It is even stronger than that of his mother'). The power God has given a woman over her husband is very great and should be used wisely. If used according to the will of God, there will be great wonders in the home, family and society.
As you pray talk to God and remind him of his word in Proverbs, because of you, your husband obtains and will continue to obtain favour forever till Jesus comes.
note this: Warren Buffet now the richest man in the world with $65billion, says that HIS WIFE IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM'. let that be our portion in Jesus Name.

Take care of your selves, I love you and will be back tomorrow.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Emotions

Goodafternoon girls! Am so sorry its been a while, my close friends came into town and I was carried away, with all the gisting and story telling. Do forgive me and i'll make it up to you this week.......My secret today has to do with emotions...... I have learn't that emotions determine the outcome of your day or how you perform your activites. I woke up today feeling very moody....with my friends around it was so easy to push the thoughts away and get distracted, but as the house grew quiet the thoughts ran back in, into my heart to torment me.......I thought to myself why me? I havent done anything to deserve this.......I have counted and counted almost everybody i know has moved on with their lives.......but as for me am still waiting.....
don't get me wrong i am blest in my marriage and love it......what am talking about is something different. Something that always plagues the 'African woman'. You can imagine that i made sure i didnt go to church today, cos i didnt want to go there and cry my eyes out. If you must know am kind of rebeling, i want to run away from God, but where do i run to? nowhere i guess. I felt the Holyspirit tap me on the shoulder, to let me know he was still around waiting for me to come back....I know He wants me to know that its not by my strength but by the Spirit says the Lord.
From north to east to west i have traveled in search of solution and everywhere I go i get the same answer......there is nothing wrong with you.....you are blest.....just wait for God's time. Just wait and trust in Him, He is always Faithful.......
Days when I get messages like that am happy and refreshed, conquering the world isn't a big issue for me.....but when it is the time of the mouth and the pain comes i loose faith. It becomes difficult to believe, to hold fast to Gods words........
I have learnt not to be quick to give advice, cos no one ever knows why? Only God........ Nobody knows what he or she will do until they are in a difficult position......
But i will hold on and continue to hold on.......as someone once said......the word of the Lord stands it doesn't fail and it will never fail. He has said ....................be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth................that is his command and so shall it be for me................
Do take care and like me it may not be easy but always hold unto the word of the lord..It will never fail...It may not be easy cos trust me we live in a country where people will never mind their buisness................never mind them and just hold on...........
Have a lovely sunday afternoon with your family today....make sure you have fun cos life is too short to suffer.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Goals

Hello lilies! You will not believe it but i have been trying to write this blog for a while now. First of all I experienced a little writer's block......when i finally got the inspiration to write, the internet was down.....anyways nothing will stop me from having fun with you all............
P.s. listen to this hott gist....lets gossip a little........are you ready............okay here it is:
a few days ago Oprah Windfrey announced that she will end her show in 2011.According to her: twemty-five years feels right in my bones and feels right in my spirit. Her show started in 1986 and it has been a hit since then. Inspite of her rough, poor and bad childhood she succeeded in making a mark in the world. Growing up with her grandmother who was so poor wasn't easy. They were so poor that she wore clothes made out of potato sacks, for which the local children made fun of her. She was molested and sexually abused as a child. She had her fair share of suffering before she overcame it and became great. Today according to some assesement she is rated the most influential woman in the world........
My emphasis is the phrase: 'the most influential woman in the world'.......... in spite of everything she set out to overcome her past and make a mark in the world. She has succeeded and so can you.
Whatever thing you set out to achieve you can do it, everything starts in the mind. What you think of your self is what you will become. If your thinking is in the negative, only negative things will surround you. People cannot see you differently from how you see yourself. If you see yourself as a looser, people will see you as one, you will only be attracted to loosers and loosers to you. Have you ever asked yourself why is it that ladies who have very low self esteem, tend to associate with men who also have low self esteem or men who are ready to show them how low they are at every minute.
After reading the biography of Oprah i set out goals for myself.....
1. i want to leave this world with a legacy to my name
2.i want to make an impact in the lives of women all over the world.
3.i want to be able to stand for the truth no matter what
4.helping people in need will never be a problem to me...........
5. i want to make history like the likes of Barack Obama, Oprah Winfrey,Tyler Perry.......
All these i want to achieve with the grace of God by my side, and i know i will accomplish them and even more..........
i urge you to sit down join me, make your goals, dreams,list or whatever name you give it, keep it by your bedside. So as you get up every morning that will be the first thing you see and the last thing to see before you go to bed....... I can assure you, you will be surprised at what you can achieve.
Notez Bien: stand up and join the fight against 'I cannot'......
take care and my love to you all.....keep all those secrets for me and share them with me tomorrow.
bye

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

hello dearie, goodafternoon. i hope you had a goodnight's rest yesterday. as for me i slept like a baby. i was so tired that i couldnt even wake in the morning for my usual walk round the estate. am so sorry for that, but i promise you i will not develop the habit of being lazy.....lol.

Monday, November 23, 2009

reduction of work hours for women

Hello dears, sorry am late today. You will not believe it....... I have been trying to upload my blog for a long time now and it was difficult for me to do. I felt like a local girl, please dont laugh at me.......and shhhhhhhhhhhhh! dont tell anyone its our little secret. How can someone start a blog herself and have a problem uploading her messages. funny isnt it? Anyways i am okay and everything is under control..........
Today i' ll like to write about a topic that has a very special place in my heart. 'the almighty work hours of women'. Long 'Work hours' is now in vogue as the french will say it : 'C'est a la mode'. You can imagine women staying leaving their offices very late. I don't want to sound old fashioned or like a grandma...... Mind you: Am not saying am against women working but i am not comfortable with the work hours. for instance a friend of mine has been considering quitting her job. when asked why? she gave me her daily routine. this is it: 'every morning she leaves her house as early as 5a.m or 5.30a.m to get to work, this she does because of the ALmighty traffic in Lagos........ guess what? she has to little kids. NOW her status: she is a mother, a wife and a career woman. okay back to her story. let' s give her a name. what name should we call her? am thinking Mabel. I hope you like it. okay so Mabel leaves the house with her kids,because she has to drop the off at school /creche... whao! you can imagine what time she gets up from bed, probably 3a.m or some crazy time. okay she drops them off at the creche and then goes to work. work starts at 8a.m both she has to be at work before the 'official opening hours( in other to be seen as a hard working staff). official closing hours in 5p.m but Mabel leaves the office every time at 7pm ,cos there is always stuff to do after work. she rushes to the creche in other to pick her kids, cos by 7.30pm the clock starts ticking for her in the creche and the bills start going up. With that solved she then heads home. Mabel doesn't get home immediately, she encounters her friend who never leaves her alone: ' Lagos Traffic'...which has wosen with the road construction..... after all the hasle she finally gets home by 10.30pm or sometimes 11pm......fagged out, frustrated, and nobody to help.... not even a maid.... ( why? she had become fagged out with all their problems so she sent them all away). That late she may have to fix dinner even if it's 'take away'get the kids tucked in bed and pretends to be interested in whatever husband is saying who surprisingly isnt tired........you know what i mean......Mabel finally goes to bed a minute before 12am. but her sleep is short lived, morning draws near and the hasle begins......
After Mabel's narration of her day i felt so sorry for her.... she doesnt have a life of her own. she doesnt have family time and she doesnt have what i call husband and wife time. All these things she lacks, will at the long run damage her marriage, her life and her family.
I ask myself every day what should she do? do you think she should resign? she is fortunate she can even consider that option, at least her husband has a stable job and doesn't have a problem taking care of her needs. But what about the ones that don't have an option, what will they do? How will they keep their home and their sanity? is life unfair? or is it harsh? does it choose who to disturb or who to cuddle?
I will leave you my dears with these questions, to assimilate and ponder.
But before note this: as someone once said once there is life there is hope'.
Take care ' lilies', will talk about this some more tomorrow.
Goodnight.