Another church service, another experience with you.
Its so funny when I get to church I am depressed cos all my prayers are unanswered, but then I come into this gathering and my hope in God is revitalized. I can move mountains. I can conquer snakes and scorpions. I can be the best in whatever I do, i leap out of the gathering with the world and its worries under my feet, but will this be forever?
What does monday hold for me, will it be like last monday, with one disappointment or the other. Will I cry myself to sleep, like I did tuesday night when Dayo told me that it was over, or crack my brain about what food to feed the children for I am out of cash. Everywhere has been over turned but can't find even 1 kobo. Will my car break down on thursday like it usually does, oh God I need a new car, I know there are millions out there who don't have a car, but there are also millions out there who own several cars.
As I think of all theses problems, my leap becomes a walk, and slowly I walk to the car, this car that I have no confidence in praying that God will please hear me as I drive, protect me and take me home.
I want to trust you God but its tough at times, at times I find my self doubting that you can help me. At times it looks like there isn't any hope for me.
(Complains) Then why did you create me? Why did you say that I was made in your own image? Why did you say that all the good things of life you will give me? Why all the promises, that I never see?
But then again as I drive down my street to my house, I see this mad man looking for food in the dustbin, I see the small homeless children run to meet me shouting aunty abeg help us for we never eat at all. I see the blind man, who cannot walk unless he is assisted. Immediately shame consumes me. I have worried about all the things that I don't have, and have forgotten of all the things i have. At least I don't have to sleep on the bridge. I forget that at least I have a car even though rickety but something that can move me about. Some people have to trek kilometers away just to look for their daily bread.
(Long sigh) I am sorry for being ungrateful, at least I have life and I am healthy. Forgive me and teach me to trust You, for I know You will always keep to Your word....
P.S. when you think that life is so bad, you just have to turn to the other side and you will know that there are people who have worse cases than you, in the world.
Happy Sunday
Ciao
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